White House Petition To Ban Teaching Of Intelligent Design Gets 23,000 Signatures In One Day

It’s been said that stupidity isn’t born, but bred. I wholeheartedly agree with that sentiment; but I would take it even further in order to explain advanced stupidity. Because unlike regular, run of the mill dumb, you have some people that act so ferociously upon their stupidity that they advance to a new level, and so must be reclassified. It’s typical of these people to behave aggressively because they are under the impression that they are brilliant; that they have been put upon this earth in order to save it. But in reality, they are vacuous, and void of any serious intellect. They are like a Macy’s parade balloon: giant, but empty.

You may be wondering: why the long intro? Did he need to go on and on about stupid people, just to say that they are stupid? The answer is yes. The people about whom I am writing this article are so stupid, that they needed a paragraph and a half to define them.

The White House, in their ambition to be the most transparent and interactive administration—try not to laugh—has created an online petition system. People can create petitions, and once they have reached 100,000 signatures, they are to be considered by the President.

A new petition was filed recently that garnered approximately 23,000 signatures in its first day. It is a petition to ban the teaching of creationism or intelligent design in schools. The following is the petition in full:

Since Darwin’s groundbreaking theory of Evolution by Natural Selection, scientists all around the world have found monumental amounts of evidence in favor of the theory, now treated as scientific fact by 99.9% of all scientists. However, even after 150 years after the establishment of evolution, some schools across the US are “teaching the controversy,” including Creationism and Intelligent Design. Both of these so-called “theories” have no basis in scientific fact, and have absolutely zero evidence pointing towards these conjectures. These types of loopholes in our education are partially to blame for our dangerously low student performances in math and science. Therefore, we petition the Obama Adminstration to ban the teachings of these conjectures that contradict Evolution.”

First, the misspelling of the word “administration” is their bad. Now, let’s dissect this sucker.

1. If the person who authored this petition (as well as those who signed it) understood that intelligent design is not taught in public schools—as far as I know—they wouldn’t need this petition in the first pace.

2. What they may be trying to do is to make a preemptive strike against any possible future scenario that would allow intelligent design to be taught in public schools. If that is the case, they apparently don’t see the decline of man that is happening right before their eyes. Christianity—though not necessary to intelligent design theory—is generally linked closely with intelligent design, because of its similarity to creationism. Though the theories certainly have commonalities—a creator, or higher entity of some kind—intelligent design, as a scientific theory, is understood to be separate from Christianity. That being said, many of those who would sign this petition see the two as inextricably linked. They fear ID being taught in schools. That, in itself, is insane, being that Christianity is a target filled with many arrows as it is. The chance of a future where ID is taught in schools is miniscule.

3. If not a preemptive strike protecting public schools, this is a strike on private and Christian schools. This is where their previously inert stupidity makes my stomach tighten a bit. We live in a free nation–supposedly. We live in a country where many faiths can be practiced without fear of government reprisal. Private and Christian schools are not government funded, and are therefore not under the purview of the government. So far as I know legally, there can be no law restricting what is taught in a school that is not federally funded. This petition vaguely demands a federal law banning the teaching of intelligent design. That’s it. It does not specify public schools. If the Obama administration–which is the most secular administration to date–ever entertained the ideas in this petition, we would truly find ourselves under tyranny. They cannot ban private schools from teaching ID; but I’m sure they want to.

4. Now we can move on to the mammoth stupidity. The writer of the petition argues that loopholes like teaching intelligent design (what loopholes?) are part of the cause of our country’s poor math and science performance. Sure, that’s the reason. Not the crumbling public school system. It’s not as if homeschooled children regularly, and greatly outperform their public school counterparts in standardized tests, and college admittance; it’s that children are being made dumber by intelligent design.

5. The writer mentions that evolution is accepted by 99.9% of scientists. I have several things to say regarding that. The fact that most of the scientific community accepts evolution is not a good thing. It is because the majority accepts evolution (a theory with numerous holes) that they have left the realm of science, and entered the realm of absolutism. Science is supposed to entertain multiple theories, and sift through evidence; not dictate that one theory is absolute. Also, one should not believe that something is absolute when it has more holes in it than a slice of Swiss cheese. The theory of evolution is still called a theory. It is not a fact. It is not even a good theory. In addition, the fact that a majority (may I mention a shrinking majority) believes something to be true, doesn’t mean that it is true. It was Marcus Aurelius that said: “The object of life is not to be on the side of the majority, but to escape finding oneself in the ranks of the insane.”

6. Finally, the petition argues that intelligent design has no evidence. I could go on and on with the mountains of evidence that stand in favor of intelligent design, but this article is already running long, and you have hands to Google. All I will say is that the argument made that ID has no evidence is patently absurd; and quite dangerous.

It is with great sadness that I look at this petition. The fact that in a single day, 23,000 people signed in agreement makes me cringe. This petition will likely go nowhere, but that’s not the point. The point is that there are many people who share the beliefs of which the author of this petition espouses—as evidenced by the signatures. This number is also on the rise. We are close to a point at which the scales will tip in favor of legislation such as what is being requested by this doofus.

Not only are these people fools; but aggressive fools at that. The combination of advanced stupidity, absolutism, and aggression is an extraordinarily dangerous cocktail. I hope the tides will turn, but I fear, and strongly believe that they will not. We are living in a dying world.