What Illegals Should Know About Amnesty

I’ve been an American citizen since my birth so I thought I would rant a little. I was taught about working hard and the value of trying to achieve the American dream by parents of legal immigrants who came through Ellis Island. My Grandparents were Democrats when Democrats were still worthy of a vote and they never earned enough to own their own home. There was no Community Re-Investment Act back in the day, just a Depression.

Today you have high hopes of becoming an American citizen. You believe you will be blessed with opportunity and freedoms that your homeland has failed to provide. I wish you luck and offer a gringo’s advice; advice born of generations that did the tough things when required and sacrificed everything to become first and foremost an American.

Welcome to the tax paying class. You see, you were sold a bill of goods (by dishonest Democrats) and just in case you haven’t been paying attention, they want you and your employers to start kicking into the magnificent federal tax and social security melting pot. That means that everybody who can legally employee you, now has to pay your income tax, health and workman’s compensation insurance. Unfortunately that means that your employment opportunities will be more competitive and your take home pay slightly reduced. Of course you will be given the token right to vote and the pleasure of having your legal disputes decided by an unprejudiced and productive American court system.

Contrary to what you may be told, Republicans will serve you no better as they are the party of no backbone. As soon as the Asians become a numerical influence in opinion polls, you will all be relegated to the same low paying jobs afforded to people who speak broken English, but I digress.

Congratulations! You will no longer have to live in the shadows. You can step right on up and share your portion of the sixteen trillion dollars in short term national debt the United States owes to the financial community here and abroad. Rest assured that the U.S. Government is also calculating your portion of 50 years of accumulated long term debt (somewhere in the 150 trillion dollar area) that you will have to pay (one way or another) if you wish to have a country that resembles the America you bravely encounter today.

Welcome to the world of identity theft, mandatory insurance premiums, and corporate bailouts. Hurray! You can finely get a driver’s license, be ticketed, and go to jail for not having automobile insurance.  By the way you now have a credit rating and this alone will determine your upward mobility in life, your insurance premiums, and your mortgage interest rate.

In case you haven’t heard we have a federal agency called the IRS. That stands for Internal Revenue Service. Some Americans say they make ICE and border patrol look like Obama on a good day at Telemundo. Nevertheless, it will probably be difficult for you to undercut your competition with these guys on your rear ends. That means you will have to start playing by a whole different set of rules they didn’t tell you about when you happily swore away your futures to the U.S. Government.

By the way, most Americans speak fluent English. I know that some Americans you have encountered sound like something out of a John Carpenter film, but it’s probably best for you and your families to begin to assimilate and learn our native tongue. Quite frankly, the rehabilitated welfare queens from the 90’s now working for Uncle Sam (at the food stamp office) won’t cut you anymore slack now than they did before you were traceable. Si Se puede!

Hey, I’ve got to tell you with decent paying jobs as scarce as they are and your soon to be new country as close to bankruptcy as it is; you may want to reconsider becoming a citizen.

From one American citizen to our new brethren in Democracy, I wish you all the luck in the world. Glad to have you. See you at the polls. Don’t forget to bring your papers.

Remember it’s just a wishful rant!