WaPo On Gov’t Reopening: I Missed You So Much!

I was against the government shutdown from a strategic standpoint. Republicans didn’t shut it down, but they opposed Obamacare, which led to the Democratic Senate saying, “Fine, we’re not going to fund the government if you insist on delaying Obamacare for the masses, even though we’ve delayed it for our cronies.” Republicans got the brunt of the blame.

But whereas I was annoyed about the government shutting down, now I’m nauseated and creeped out by people’s reactions to it opening up again.

Yesterday I bought a Washington Post (I only buy Friday’s edition because of its Weekend section, which has movie reviews).

On the front page of the Weekend section was a composite image of the Lincoln and Jefferson Memorials, with big letters reading, “You Don’t Know What You’ve Got Till It’s Gone,” “Gone” being in extra-huge letters. Underneath it: “The shutdown’s over. Let’s make up for lost time. Page 14.”

The Post was behaving as if the government was a lover with whom it was quarreling, and after a brief period of separation, the newspaper realized it missed the government and wanted to be taken back into its loving embrace.

Leftists are ill.

Aside from movie reviews, the Weekend section also informs readers of different activities, places to go, restaurants, etc., around the D.C. area. So you turn to page 14, where it has small write-ups of these activities, and at the top of the page, it sighs with relief, “The shutdown’s finally over.” (Oh, thank God!) “Here’s what you missed.”

The introductory paragraph reads:

The prospect of returning to the office must seem appealing to the thousands of government employees furloughed since Oct. 1.

Doubt it. In a piece at WashingtonPost.com, which paints a sympathetic picture of furloughed federal workers who didn’t have the “luxury” of accessing their work emails to make “sure the world continue[d] to function in spite of [their] absence” (wow, these people think highly of their government!), details of all the hardships (mercy me!) that federal employee Sophia Casey had to go through during her paid vacation are slathered thick. And now, “[Casey’s] most pressing order of business: a request for vacation time.”

Vacation from her vacation. Yeah, federal employees sure do love doing their “civil service”!

Continuing where I left off in the Weekend section:

[The government’s reopening] means we can get back to the museum hopping, drum circling, ballroom dancing, cinema-going and even marrying—all activities that were easy to take for granted before the shutdown took them away.

You see, when the government shut down, people weren’t allowed to go to any museums, even privately funded ones; they weren’t allowed to go ballroom dancing, see a movie, or even get married. But the government’s open now, hallelujah, so, as the Post advises, “Get out there and enjoy these local niceties while you can, because the next government shutdown could be just around the corner.”

Oh no! How will hippies be able to form lice-infested drum circles without the government?!