USDA Requires Magicians To Have “Disaster Plans” For Their Rabbits

To say that American businesses are over-regulated is a bit of an understatement. In very small print, the USDA spends 14 pages to spell out regulations specifically pertaining to rabbits and requirements that need to be met to keep one’s “rabbit license.”

A 1965 law required that labs obtain government licenses in order to use animals for testing purposes. But in 1970, that law was amended to include not just labs, but any entity that exhibits animals. Like zoos and circuses. But because the regulations written to enforce these laws are so vague and wordy like every other law and regulation we have, anything can be said to “exhibit” animals. Not just the big things like zoos.

Apparently, magicians who use rabbits as props for their tricks are not at all exempt. So, they too must obtain a license to “exhibit” their pet rabbits. And since they have to have the proper government license to do so, they must follow all the regs associated with maintaining that license. They have to pay $40 a year, give their animal regular vet care and submit to random house searches.

But now they’ve apparently got a new requirement needed in order for these magicians to hold on to their “rabbit licenses.” 54-year-old magician Marty Hahne knows about it, because he got a letter from the USDA asking him for a “disaster plan” for his rabbit, Casey. You know, like, “What does Marty the Magician plan on doing to make sure his rabbit is safe in case of a flood, a hurricane or an earthquake?” This is not a joke.

I can imagine zoos and circuses having such plans, but a magician who has one harmless bunny? Marty Hahne has been working full time doing magic shows for kids and on cruise ships for 27 years. “Our country’s broke,” Hahne pointed out. “And yet they have money and time to harass somebody about a rabbit.” Yep. This is exactly the sort of nonsense to expect from an over-bloated bureaucracy like our own. Government “job-creators” are to blame for these endless rules. The letter that Mr. Hahne got from the USDA even began with “Dear Members of our Regulated Community.” I bet that just made him feel so at home.

The Washington Post pointed out the utter idiocy of these regulations:

“Animals raised for meat are exempt from these rules. ‘You’re telling me I can kill the rabbit right in front of you,’ Hahne says he asked an inspector, ‘but I can’t take it across the street to the birthday party’ without a license? Also, the law applies only to warmblooded animals. If Hahne were pulling an iguana out of his hat — no license required. Now, he needs both a license and a disaster plan.”

Mr. Hahne obliged the code enforcers and now has a disaster plan in the works for his one bunny. The plan is 28 pages so far.

While our government is almost $17 trillion in disastrous debt, they’re focused on “cracking down” on children’s magicians who don’t have disaster plans for their animal props.