Another Casualty of the War on Christmas: Planned Parenthood Replaces “Merry Christmas” with “Happy Holidays”

I recently saw a Christmas e-greeting from the Greater Memphis Region chapter of Planned Parenthood, and I was appalled and outraged to see that they had replaced “Merry Christmas” with “Happy Holidays.” I don’t know about you, but I feel like this replacement is just another emblem of the Christian culture cleansing of the West. It’s just another notice that political correctness is erasing all the external signs of Christianity from society. It’s yet another token that unbelievers Read more […]

Walmart Begins ‘Gray Bag’ Collection after Realizing Gendered Clothing is Wrong

According to Bloomberg, Target has decided to remove the gender labels from many of their children’s departments. This came after an outpouring of complaints from customers regarding gendered signage. “The kids’ bedding section will no longer feature boy and girl signage, and the toy department will be without labels and pink or blue paper on the shelves, Minneapolis-based Target said on its website Friday.” Target added: “We heard you, and we agree. Right now, our teams are working across Read more […]

ISIS At The Border—What’s Next?

“Let us never negotiate out of fear, but let us never fear to negotiate.” – Barack Obama, quoting JFK According to sources informing Judicial Watch: “ISIS is operating a camp just a few miles from El Paso, Texas…The exact location where the terrorist group has established its base is around eight miles from the U.S. border…Mexican intelligence sources report that ISIS intends to exploit the railways and airport facilities in the vicinity of Santa Teresa, NM (a US port-of-entry).” During a Read more […]

Obese Commuters Asked To Stand During Rush-Hour

The Telegraph reports that commuters on a train in England were told via intercom that because of the crowded nature of the train, overweight individuals should remain standing. The conductor reportedly said: “We are going to be like sardines on this train, so can I ask that only slim people sit on the three-seaters…If you are fat then it is simply not going to work.” Commuters—specifically those in the Mazda Miata weight range—were outraged, calling for the termination of the employee Read more […]

Official Statement from Hillary Clinton Regarding Email-Gate

From the desk of (President) Hillary Clinton — Given the rampant, and deeply sexist speculation regarding my emails, I have decided to issue the following official statement: (Please read the following statement in a down-home, relatable southern accent) I’m here to tell you personally, via this letter, via what I’m told is the internet, that I have done nothing “unethical.” The Republicans, in what will surely go down as the most ridiculous plot to destroy me in all my years in the Read more […]

Jon Stewart Quitting Has Fans In Disarray

With the news that Jon Stewart will be leaving The Daily Show later this year, liberals across the nation have begun a mourning process that will likely last several months, only to be exacerbated upon his actual departure. Reports are coming in that liberals have been seen offering various sacrifices to the gods in whom they don’t believe in the hopes that if a god does exist, she may stop this tragedy from taking place. One New York man, Richard Miller, gathered approximately twenty of his Daily Read more […]

BREAKING: Obesity Now Being Recognized as a Disability

Bruno Waterfield of The Telegraph reports on obesity: “Fatness ‘can constitute a disability’ for the purposes of European Union equality at work legislation, Europe’s highest court has ruled. The judgment means British companies will be required to treat obese workers as ‘disabled,’ providing them with larger seats, special parking spaces and other facilities. ‘Obesity can constitute a ‘disability’ within the meaning of the Employment Equality Directive,’ the European Court of Justice ruled.” As Read more […]

SHOCK: Obama Reveals That Campaigning & Governing Are Actually Different

“Here is one thing that I will say — that campaigning and governance are two different things.” — Barack Obama BREAKING: During Sunday’s Face The Nation on CBS, President Obama made a shocking, and some would say provocative, announcement. According to Breitbart News, the President has come to the conclusion that campaigning and governing are, in fact, two different things. President Obama’s announcement sent shockwaves throughout the political community, with some decrying it as nothing Read more […]

New Mexico Food Stamps Recipients May Have To Look For Work

Shock and outrage over conditions being attached to food stamps. “People who are given whatever they want soon develop a sense of entitlement and rapidly lose their sense of proportion.” – Sarah Churchwell According to the Associated Press, a lawsuit is being filed by a group of New Mexico food stamp recipients because forthcoming regulations would require some beneficiaries of the program, such as childless adults, to work, or seek work in order to be eligible for food stamps. This has caused Read more […]

Professional Golfer Barack Obama Criticized For Governing Too Much

BREAKING: Spokesman/caddy James Redder held a brief press conference this morning to discuss increasingly vicious criticism being leveled against professional golfer, Barack Obama. When asked by NJR news’ Marianne Fellows about Obama’s seeming lack of focus, and commitment in recent months, Redder has this to say: “Professional golf is a very stressful and difficult sport. More difficult than anyone can imagine. It may seem like Mr. Obama has forgotten where his priorities lie, but the fact is that Read more […]

The Hillary Clinton Foundation: Serving the Needy Not-So-Super-Wealthy

“They don’t see me as part of the problem…Because we pay ordinary income tax, unlike a lot of people who are truly well off, not to name names; and we’ve done it through dint of hard work.” – Hillary Clinton Imagine living a life of hard choices, a life in which you must scrounge for even a steak with some decent A1 sauce, and a salad with low-fat dressing on the side. Imagine a hellish existence in which you receive a paltry $200,000 for painstakingly crafting and delivering thirty minutes Read more […]

Why I Love Rahm: Chicago to Video-Record Gun Sales–by the Psychotic Liberal

By the Psychotic Liberal: RAHM EMANUEL IS THE BEST MAYOR EVER OMG! I can totally see why President Barack Obama hired him in his first term. This guy really knows his stuff and he’s very progressive. We need his brand of progress in this country. Here’s the awesome news from CBS’s Chicago affiliate: Mayor Rahm Emanuel is proposing a far-reaching ordinance that would keep gun stores out of most parts of the city and require them to videotape every sale to deter customers from buying firearms Read more […]