Super Bowl Commercial Outrages Millions of Idiots

If your life is ruined by a Super Bowl commercial, you need to get a better life.

Sometimes I wonder whether the world is being run by smart people who are putting us on or by imbeciles who really mean it.” – Laurence J. Peter

To critically analyze one’s thoughts prior to opening up one’s mouth, and blowing out unprecedented stupidity into the world is an ability which I believe has declined precipitously over the last several decades. Sure, there has always been a balance among humans; it’s not as if stupidity is new, but the advent of the internet has really magnified this issue.

Every day, a crisis is ignited by something new, and generally insipid, and these crises play out over the Internet. Message boards, Twitter, Facebook, and HuffPo (ha) fill up with angry messages, written by indignant people. How can they say such a thing?! How un-American! How xenophobic! Disgusting! BOYCOTT! The ability to get one’s opinion out there so quickly, and effortlessly has caused people to skip the thought process that may lead them to ask critical questions, such as: “Is what I’m saying contributing to society in any way?” and “Will being furious over something someone said on the internet give me high blood pressure?” The latest examples are both commercials, one of which played during the Super Bowl.

A man known only as “Gluten Dude” started a petition because of a NASCAR commercial in which actor Nick Offerman–known for playing no-nonsense Ron Swanson on Parks & Rec–says the following:

When our idea of danger is eating gluten, there’s trouble afoot.”

This eleven word sentence was enough for Gluten Dude to write the following on

It implies that were soft…we’re weak…we’re part of America’s problem. When all we’re trying to do is manage our disease. Celiac can be a true pain. The media is not helping and this petition is to get NBC to see the light of day.

I think about all of the gluten-free children getting bullied for being “different,” when all they want to do is feel better and fit in. I think a lot all of the people who have gotten sick at restaurants because the kitchen and/or staff do not take us seriously.

I think about all of those walking around undiagnosed and suffering because they only listen to what is in the media. I think about all of the people in the past who have died prematurely when going gluten-free MAY have been their saving grace. This petition is for them.

In essence: FREEEEEEDOOOOMMMMMMMM! I mean, that’s practically William Wallace level beauty there.

The commercial is clearly in good fun, and plays up on the notion that racing high-powered cars is culturally viewed as the most masculine thing someone can do. The commercial also makes fun of using emojis in text messages. It’s clearly a spoof. However, it does touch upon the gluten free trend that has taken over America. Anti-glutenism has swallowed the nation faster than a fat man swallows a short stack at IHOP, and it’s ridiculous.

More, and more studies are showing that eating gluten—if you don’t suffer from Celiac disease—has no harmful effect on the human body, but millions of people have jumped on the gluten free train simply because it’s popular.

As long as you’re not a doofus, you can clearly understand that the gluten comment in the commercial is aimed at those who are on the anti-gluten bandwagon, not those with Celiac. But Gluten Dude, as well as 18,000 other idiots don’t grasp that, so there’s a petition. Let me repeat that: 18,000 people think that the NASCAR commercial was making fun of those with Celiac. Yeah. So, if eugenics ever comes back into fashion, we already have a list of where to start.

Next, a Jeep commercial that aired during the Super Bowl showed classic American images, while playing the song “This Land is Our Land.” However, the fire was lit when images of other countries were shown.

Twitter erupted with unmitigated anger. According to Wynton Hall of Breitbart, one Twitter user exclaimed: “I am now boycotting Jeep because of this commercial.” Others were outraged with the fact that an “American song” celebrating America was being used to promote globalism. Ah, but there’s an issue. Once again, Wynton Hall laid out some hard truth:

Interestingly, ‘This Land is Your Land’ was written by far-left progressive Woody Guthrie in 1940 and recorded in 1944 as a sarcastic protest to ‘God Bless America,’ reports National Public Radio (NPR)…”

He goes on to note that one of the original verses proclaims: “There was a big high wall there that tried to stop me. The sign was painted, said ‘Private Property.’ But on the backside, it didn’t say nothing. This land was made for you and me.”

Hmmm. Doesn’t sound very rah rah America to me.

Here’s the problem: people didn’t take more than a nanosecond to think before they became indignant. Part of that is because being angry feels good, and to be able to express that outrage where people will presumably see it feels even better.

First, I understand that the song is typically understood by modern Americans to be patriotic, but that doesn’t change the truth. Second, Jeep is owned by Fiat, so obviously they’re going to show images of the entire world. Third, the end of the commercial says “The world is a gift. Play responsibly.” So if there’s anything to be simply indignant about, it’s the earthy, hippie message. But even that’s a stretch. We should respect the world in which we live. The commercial didn’t say “Stop causing mankind’s destruction with your carbon footprint.” It was just a nice commercial with an extremely mild liberal message. But they showed the Great Wall, so…I dunno…BOYCOTT!

Let’s all think before we jump online, and stupidly—sorry—passionately write out our angry manifestos, huh? As Harlan Ellison said: “You are not entitled to your opinion. You are entitled to your informed opinion. No one is entitled to be ignorant.” In other words, save some anger for ISIS.