School Confiscates Plastic Army Men on Top Of 3rd Grader’s Birthday Cupcakes

Toy plastic army men have been around since 1938.  I’m not sure how many have been sold in the US since that time, but I wouldn’t be surprised if the number equals the national debt.  Over fifty years ago, my two brothers and I had several thousand of them and we staged our own battles, using rubber bands to shoot each other’s men down.

Battling each other has been part of our sinful nature ever since Cain slew Abel.  Almost every boy battles evil armies, bad guys, monsters and all kinds of evil villains in his own way.  Some use toy soldiers, others use GI-Joe action figures, and many kids just point their fingers and say bang.  It’s all part of being a kid and growing up.

However, today’s liberal perverse society has declared that kids are no longer allowed to be kids and do the things that kids have done for centuries.  Case in point are all of the reports of young kids, kindergarten through second grade that have been expelled for being kids.  Now we have to add third graders to the list of kids that are not allowed to be kids.

The third grade son of Casey Fountain was celebrating his 9th birthday.  He was all excited about bringing cupcakes to share with his class at Schall Elementary School in Caro, Michigan.  When Susan Wright, principal of the school, saw the 30 cupcakes she was appalled to see a plastic army man on top of each cupcake.  Worse yet, they were carrying guns.  YES!  GUNS in a school!

Wright quickly stepped in to prevent a mass shooting and squashed the excitement of the birthday boy, by demanding that the army men be removed from every cupcake.  She said that placing the army men on the desserts was insensitive to others because of what happened at Sandy Hook Elementary School.  Evidently, she was not too concerned about being insensitive to the boy who brought them to share with his classmates.  Oh no.  It was being insensitive to others that concerned her.

The principal then phoned Casey Fountain to tell him what had happened and what she had done to avert a crisis.  Casey tried to explain to the principal that they were World War II army men and had absolutely no relation to what happened at Sandy Hook.  He went on to say that soldiers were not involved with Sandy Hook and that they risk their lives every day to protect all of us.  He even suggested that any complaints the school received about the army men be used as an opportunity for the school to defend our military and give them credit for their duty and sacrifices, but Wright would not have any of it.  She issued a statement to the media saying:

“Recently, a third grade boy brought cupcakes to school with plastic soldiers carrying weapons atop each one. These are toys that were commonplace in the past. However some parents prohibit all guns as toys. In light of that difference, the school offered to replace the soldiers with another item and the soldiers were returned home with the student.”

“By not permitting toy soldiers on cupcakes at school, no disrespect for our military or for the brave men and women who defend our right to have differences was intended.”

Bull pucky!  She did dishonor our military men and women by grouping them with someone like Adam Lanza who was deranged and out of his mind when he walked into Sandy Hook Elementary School.  Wright did more than dishonor our service men and women; she smeared their good name and reputation.

Worse yet, she crushed the spirit of one little boy, who will never forget the horror and embarrassment of his 9th birthday as long as he lives.

Casey Fountain responded to Wright’s statement, saying:

“In our politically correct society they can’t separate the good from the bad.  I’m sure hammers are allowed in schools — although a lot of people are killed by hammers.”

“He’s nine-years-old.  He was just glad to get his soldiers back.”

“It’s not about a toy.  It’s not about a cupcake. It’s what the toy represents — and we’re just taking political correctness too far.”

If I were Casey Fountain, I would not let the issue drop.  I would demand an apology from the principal and that she take sensitivity training courses, because she obviously wasn’t sensitive to his son.  Perhaps she should also do some community service time at a local military base or office and ask them if they thought the plastic army men on the cupcakes were insensitive to others.  I wonder what they would say?

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