Satanists Unveil Design for Oklahoma Baphomet Statue

A group of Satanists have unveiled a design for a statue of Baphomet that they hope will soon sit outside the capitol in Oklahoma City. A Ten Commandments monument was placed at the capitol in 2012, and soon after, Satanists wanted their own monument as a token of the equality of all religions. As they themselves have said, they don’t think their monument will be approved, but they hope their rejection will highlight what they think is a religious double-standard.

The design sketch depicts a seated Baphomet with a pentagram over his head, with two smiling children approaching, presumably to sit on his lap. Satanists say Baphomet’s lap can be used as a space to sit and reflect on things. I guess it could also be an Anti-Christmas fixture—all the naughty boys and girls can go sit on the lap of Satan Claws to request special curses on their enemies.

This is not entirely a joke by the way. Apparently Satanists really do want an ancient goat-headed hermaphroditic false god they honor as the symbolic linchpin of their metaphorical framework to sit in all its stupid hideousness outside the capitol of Oklahoma. But forgive me for not taking this seriously.

Aside from being the center of a controversy that eventually dismantled the Knights Templar, what has Baphomet ever done in the world? Even according to Satanists, he is no more real than a talking tortoise from Aesop’s Fables. This is not equality of religion. Because no Satanist in this small group actually worships a being named Baphomet. So it’s not a religion. If it were, we also need to allow ComicCon fanatics to put up a monument of Superman or the Green Lantern. In the name of equality of religion. These too stand in for “immortal principles.”

And even if Satanism were actually a religion, and not just a philosophical framework, there is no stipulation that every religion be represented at a state capitol. Freedom of religion is not equality of all religions, and a state has the freedom, unlike Congress, to favor a particular religion if it feels like doing so.

So I imagine when the majority of Oklahoma citizens adopt Satanism, they will erect their comical statue of Baphomet outside the capitol. That is, if the state hasn’t entirely collapsed into blood-soaked, orgiastic, anarchical dysfunction before they get around to it.