My Final Bashing of Global-Warming Alarmists Before Today’s Mayan Apocalypse

Today is the first day and the last day of our last winter on Earth, what with the Apocalypse coming any hour now, so I figured I’d get one last shot in at liberals and their environmental alarmism.

A sure sign that a hoax is being perpetrated is if the advocate for the hoax tells you that although scenarios A and B are opposites, if A happens, C is true, while if B happens, C is still true.

To wit, a very warm winter proves global warming, while its opposite, a very cold winter, also proves global warming. Eco-freaks set the rules of the game so that they can’t lose the game. It’s rigged. No matter what the weather, they are right. It’s brilliant, really, albeit dastardly.

This winter season–okay, fine, this late-fall season, since today is only the first day of winter–here in Virginia has sometimes been unseasonably warm, one week reaching temperatures in the mid-60s, and other times its been blistering-cold. On the warm days, you hear liberals say, “Man, that climate change is really somethin’,” and on the cold days, you hear liberals say, “Man, that climate change is really somethin’.” They’ve been brainwashed to accept that no matter what the weather, climate change is really somethin’! They’ve been trained not to think for themselves.

In Russia right now, the global-warming situation is such that they are experiencing their coldest winter in over 70 years. It’s because the planet is heating up, dont’cha know.

And here in Virginia, the average for this season has been, by my estimation, warmer than past winters. That’s caused by the same thing that makes other places freezing: global warming.

Quick, give your money to the politicians so they can change the weather, or rather, prevent it from changing!

Of course the climate changes. Can you imagine if it didn’t? If the average temperatures in a year did not vary by a couple of degrees when compared year-to-year–that is, if the average yearly temperatures were the exact same each year–that would be freaky. And if ever global warming gets widespread acceptance as a hoax, you just know the government will try to cash in on that and claim some other catastrophic event is occurring: “The temperature refuses to change by even one degree! The end is nigh!” And then they’ll pay scientists to create–not discover, but create–data to support the latest Earth-is-doomed fad.

What’s harmful to the planet is not a 0.0006-degree change, but gullible idiots without a shred of independent thought.

Now if you’ll excuse me, I have an apocalypse to attend. December 21, 2012, bring it on!