Michelle Obama Still Thinks Women Are Stupid

Is it 2016 yet? I don’t like Barack Obama’s policies. But Obama himself does actually seem like, in his honest moments, he might be interesting to talk to. Yes, he’s destroying the country. But he seems like an OK dude otherwise, for what it’s worth. His wife Michelle, on the other hand, really drives me crazy. On a personal level. I don’t think I’ve ever seen a first lady who so consistently insults the intelligence of all women, regularly condescending to them with such patronizing, saccharine sympathies, it makes my stomach turn and my teeth hurt. Well, Michelle Obama is at it again.

Before coming to the White House, I struggled, as a working parent with a traveling, busy husband, to figure out how to feed my kids healthy, and I didn’t get it right. I thought to myself, if a Princeton and Harvard-educated professional woman doesn’t know how to adequately feed her kids, then what are other parents going through who don’t have access to the information I have?

Aaaaaaaaahhhhh! That is so infuriating. For one, Harvard and Princeton don’t teach hardly anything at all apparently. Certainly not anything practical. They’re places for making “gonnegtions” and little else. I wish I could go the rest of my life without some idiot pretending he’s well-educated just because he went to school for a long time. As Mark Twain said, “Never let your schooling get in the way of your education.” That quote hangs over Ivy League Schools like a black storm cloud over a Gay Pride parade.

Second, dietary wisdom changes every fifteen minutes. Fat’s bad for you. Fat’s good for you. High-carb, no-carb, low-carb. Eat raw. Never eat raw. Soy milk is good for you. Soy milk emasculates boys. GMOs will end world hunger. GMOs will end the world. Who can say for sure what’s right or wrong about healthy food? Aside from Michelle Obama, that is.

Everyone has access to this information, Michelle. Freakin’ everyone. Maybe Princeton and Harvard taught you something about a thing called the internet? Even if they didn’t, Al Gore probably told you how it worked, since he invented it and all.

So everyone has access to all the same conflicting information about how to “feed kids healthy” (whatever that means … must be Ivy League grammar). And to assume that your information is best just because it’s yours is naïve arrogance. I would say that the vast majority of “simple-minded” American housewives are doing just fine figuring out what to feed their kids. In fact, the majority of people who aren’t doing fine are the ones on government assistance—waiting on Michelle Obama to sign off on their next obesity-inducing SNAP benefit and drop another pearl of patronizing sympathy on their “impossible plight.” Except, the majority of American home-makers aren’t stupid. Just because they aren’t “professionals,” doesn’t mean they are morons. Perhaps Michelle Obama should stop projecting her own experience on all other women. Yes, all women.