How to Keep Kids off Coke

By Coke, I mean the dangerous, highly addictive, life-threatening substance we must be protected from at all costs. Not the white powder that got Biden’s son kicked out of the military. Apparently, inner city kids drink a huge amount of sugary beverages, and the civil government, which is apparently responsible for these poor parentless kids, has to make sure through legislation that they’re not drinking too much Coke.

And one way to do that is to replace caloric information with practical information about how much exercise would be required to burn off the calories in a bottle of Coke:

Researchers analyzed more than 3,000 drink purchases by children ages 7 to 18 at stores in low-income Baltimore neighborhoods and found that sugary drinks accounted for 98% of the beverages kids bought. But when researchers put up colorful signs with calorie information, that figure dropped to 89%. The most effective sign was the one that said it would take a five-mile walk to burn off the calories in the drink. Researchers argue that while laws already require beverage manufacturers to post caloric information, calorie numbers may not mean all that much to many consumers. More practical information, including statistics about how long it will take to burn calories, is easier to grasp.

You can always count on the civil government to parent us when our own parents fall down on the job. Because rather than create good habits in our children through nurturing and parental oversight, it’s much better to just manipulate them by creating overarching and intrusive legislative guidelines that affect everyone.

How does legislation on sugary beverages affect you? Well, maybe you drink a Coke occasionally and responsibly. Then Coke is forced to create, print, and apply new labeling with exercise information. This costs money, and their expenses will be passed on to you, the consumer. So you pay more because the people who are supposed to be responsible to take care of their own children would rather leave that responsibility to the civil government.

I’m so tired of this government nanny crap. It’s just killing me. You want freedom, America? Take responsibility for your own health, your own children, your own lives. And tell the civil government to take a hike (might help them burn off their excess intake of taxes).