How the Phrase “I’d Go Gay for Ruby” Has Outraged the Left

If emotions are drugs, then anger is cocaine. From what I know via second-hand accounts, despite the ultimately harmful effects on the body and mind, cocaine makes you feel like you’re on top of the world. Righteous anger is the emotional equivalent.

In the most recent season of Orange is the New Black, a new character was introduced that has fans going crazy. The actress, Ruby Rose, has started a social media craze that has gotten the outrage industry’s panties in a bunch.

Many women on social media have been saying things along the lines of “I’m gay for Ruby Rose.”

A common phrase if there ever was one, “I’d go gay for (insert celebrity/hot person),” has long been in the cultural vernacular. It’s a joke. Nobody believes that an attractive person of the same sex is so good looking that it would transform a heterosexual into a homosexual. Like, really? That said, the culture of righteous indignation (henceforth referred to as CRI sly wink) has no sense of humor, and has thus become–wait for it–indignant over this Ruby Rose social media phenomenon. Twitter has erupted with pouty huffs over straight girls saying they’d go gay for Ruby Rose, but the true barometer of all things related to the CRI is the bastion of online liberal media, Buzzfeed. Once Buzzfeed picks up on your shenanigans, you know your whiny cries of umbrage have been vindicated. The lord of liberal media has spoken, you may rest, righteous souls. Buzzfeed posted an article titled “Queer Women Have A Message For Straight Women ‘Turning Gay’ For Ruby Rose.” The piece chronicled all the tweets and social media posts from the gay/lesbian/bi/trans/non-binary/queer/pansexual/intersex/gender-fluid/skoliosexual/questioning community who wanted to give a simple message to those awful straight girls. And that message was: “We have no sense of humor! And we’re PROUD!”


You guys! This is hella serious. Orange is the New Black could topple the last 50 years of human rights progress!

It’s not a joke? I totally thought this whole time that all non-straights were pretending for my general amusement. Glad to have that cleared up.

Or maybe they’re…..not being serious?

Ok, now that all that sarcasm is out of my system, we can get down to brass tacks. As I said above, indignation is a drug; it makes unimportant people feel like they matter, and it shuts down arguments instantly. It’s empowering to shut others up. But righteous indignation also leads to deep self-seriousness–as you can observe above.

Unfortunately, because of its intoxicating effects, righteous indignation keeps people coming back, which–not so coincidentally–is great for liberals because it helps them advance their agendas. An army of shrill losers shouting down their opponents can have incredible power.

Take the Hobby Lobby case for example. As Hobby Lobby was fighting for their right of religious freedom, the army of righteous losers was spreading misinformation like germs at a daycare. Ask any group of uninformed Americans (see: most) about the Hobby Lobby case, and I guarantee 90% of them will look at you with dead eyes and repeat the liberal mantra that the company wanted to “take women’s contraceptives away.”

Anyone who took more than a nanosecond to research the case would know that that’s untrue, but it doesn’t matter. The dumbest people made the most noise.

As the saying goes, the empty vessel makes the loudest sound. The least informed–the previously mentioned shrill losers–yell the loudest, and thus they’re the ones having the most influence on our culture.

The Ruby Rose angerpalooza is a microcosm of this entire concept. We’re living in a society of mush-brained losers, who not only have no idea what a joke is, but who have frightening power when they raise their collective voices.

The informed are not in control; we’ve allowed toddlers in the driver’s seat.

Think about that as we go into the 2016 elections. It’s terrifying, isn’t it?