“Gay marriage is going to happen. It must.” – Lady Gaga
It did. Now what? Friday, my Facebook feed was wall-to-wall rainbows; profile pictures, cover photos, status updates, all celebrating the SCOTUS victory for gay marriage. I saw the phrases “love is love,” and “love wins,” dozens of times. And in those phrases really lies the argument for moving beyond gay marriage.
People think you’re crazy if you come to the conclusion that allowing gay marriage opens the door for other types of marriage. They scoff and tell you it’s apples and oranges. But they never tell you why it’s apples and oranges.
The foundational precondition for marriage has now been changed. That precondition has always been that each member entering into marriage was of the opposite gender. Gender was the first principle of marriage.
Now, with gay marriage, gender has been eschewed for “consent.” The foundational precondition for marriage is now consent. Given that, what other possibilities exist? No, bestiality and pedophilia aren’t in the running because neither an animal nor a child has the capacity to consent. But polygamy, bigamy, and incestuous relationships are.
If love is love, how on earth can we deny the love of one man for multiple women, one woman for multiple men, five men for one another, multiple women for one another, or a brother for his sister? We cannot. So long as those relationships are adult and each participant is consenting, their love is just different—which I believe used to be the catchphrase for promoting gay love: “It’s just different love.”
People bring up the fact that these relationships are such a small minority that it’s not practical to make comparisons. To them, I say, how dare you. Gays and lesbians make up approximately 1.6% of the population, according to the CDC, and other studies have pegged that number at as high as 3.5%. But let’s be generous and say 5% of men and women identify as gay and lesbian. Are they not a small minority? Wasn’t that a thrust of the argument? You can’t oppress a minority because you don’t like their beliefs? Should we have ignored them because of their minority status? I’m guessing the answer is no.
The other arguments against these marriages are plenty, but there were also a multitude of arguments against gay marriage. The point is, if these people are in love, if they truly want to marry, how can we deny them that right?
Let me run off a quick list:
- Incestuous relationships can lead to mutated children. Get a vasectomy, or an abortion. If both family members in a relationship are of the same sex, this issue is resolved!
- Incest is wrong. Many believe same-sex relationships are wrong, and you disagree. Tell me the difference. You’re on the wrong side of history, as they say.
- Polygamy is often abusive. And normal relationships aren’t ever abusive? The prevalence of domestic abuse in gay and lesbian relationships is ashigh or higherthan in heterosexual relationships.
The Advocate reports:
“The National Violence Against Women survey found that 21.5 percent of men and 35.4 percent of women living with a same-sex partner experienced intimate-partner physical violence in their lifetimes, compared with 7.1% and 20.4% for men and women, respectively, with a history of only opposite-sex cohabitation.”
So, abuse is abuse. It happens in every single type of relationship, and even more so in same-sex relationships, it appears. Abuse cannot justify disallowing those who would function normally, and without domestic abuse issues to live happy, loving marriages. If that were the case, no marriage should be legal, given the statistics.
- It’s just not the same. Explain it to me. I’d love to hear just how far reason can be contorted to justify your explanation.
This is the next front in the equality battle, even if gay rights supporters refuse to acknowledge it. Give it ten years or so—maybe twenty.
Love is love.