These days it is hard to find anything humorous in the news. With all the violence, deceit, and inhumane behavior we ingest on a daily basis sometimes, we all need a little chuckle. I know I do. At least my family tells me so, so why not have a one at the expense of the weird Harold left wing nuts in San Francisco. For those that may be offended by what they are about to read, let me apologize. I am out on a limb.
Recently, Health Officials in San Francisco have run head first into a decade’s long constantly reoccurring problem that they just cannot seem to resolve. Apparently STD’s are on the rise in the S.F area especially syphilis and the public expects elected officials to resolve the spread of this Public Health threat to the predominantly homosexual San Francisco community. You still with me?
Well…..the City of San Francisco is proud to announce that they will be resurrecting the “Healthy Penis Program“. A program they used before to curb—at least temporarily—the spread of sexually transmitted disease. It is a spin off from the very successful “stop the sore” program. I am not making this up.
The City of San Francisco actually have full size wearable foam costumes shaped like a man’s jimmy that people—paid by the taxpayer—wear around town dangling informative fliers and recommending that men should have themselves tested regularly for STD’s. Kind of like a mammogram campaign but without the need for two people walking down the street dressed like a body part.
Never put it passed a progressive town like San Francisco to flutter to new heights of absurdity. After all these are the people that re-elect Nancy Pelosi. Even though the syphilis keeps coming back, City Officials consider men running around in…..well….foam cartoon penis costumes with devilishly handsome smiles the best way to get the word out to the gay/bisexual male population of San Francisco.
According to City Officials, the 2013 Healthy Penis Program has undergone some major improvements. According to the programs festive website “it’s better than ever. “ Why is it that the only people who can find syphilis warning campaigns cause for celebration the gays? Well… when you stop to consider the alternatives like HIV and AIDS infection, I guess contracting syphilis may be cause for a rave or something.
You can find The City of San Francisco “Healthy Penis Campaign” at www.healthypenis.org .This Sponge Bob Square Pants type website, provides San Francisco gays with a cartoon based information portal covering syphilis infections. Kind of like a modern, but bad, Jr. High School health class video.
This year they have gone all out creating charming and giggly characters representing the three ethnicities: White, African American, and Latino. Each one of the healthy phallic cabaret has a name and a face book page. The white character is “Come say Hi” Clark, Byron, the black character with the well trimmed goatee claims his face book page is “off the hook” and Pedro the Latino character asks you to “look me up“. There is also a villain. His name is Phil. Nice.
For some reason they skipped Asian. Oh, wait they have and Asian Mayor. That explains it.
I know San Francisco like most US cities is in a financial crisis and has had to extort a lot of wage and benefit concessions out of its public employees to balance the city’s budget. I just wonder how much it costs to pay grown men to parade around in public dressed like a big……..I’m not going to say it……..telling people to keep the STD’s to a minimum.
We live in a world that has learned to scoop the dog’s poop, not to smoke within 25 feet of a public building, yet for some reason a city that cannot afford cops, firefighters and teachers find taxpayer money to remind people of the consequences of casual sexual relations. Heck, they could have gotten Bill Clinton to due a public service announcement for that.
In closing, I was going to say “Only in San Francisco” but apparently, Cleveland and Toronto are also proud to host the Healthy Penis Program. Maybe we could get the Democrat Congress out to each city fully dressed up spreading the word about STD’s. Can you imagine Nancy Pelosi waddling around in a big foam wanker?
Give me strength.