Fargo, North Dakota—land of funny accents, hapless husbands’ disastrously staged kidnappings, and Halloween candy Nazis.
“Happy Halloween and Happy Holidays Neighbor!” opens the letter written by a Fargo woman going by the name Cheryl. Cheryl plans on handing out copies of this letter to trick-or-treaters she judges to be fat.
Right off the bat you can tell she’s a liberal because she threw in “Happy Holidays,” even though it’s only Halloween. She doesn’t want to offend the Wiccan children, evidently. (On second thought, perhaps it is merely a matter of safety not to offend the children of witches.)
The letter continues: “You are probably wondering why your child has this note; have you ever heard the saying, ‘It takes a village to raise a child’?”
I’ve heard that saying. It’s an old proverb originating from the collectivist minds of African tribesmen, made fashionable by communist Hillary Clinton in her 1996 book, and advocated creepily this past spring in a TV spot for MSNBC in which Melissa Harris-Perry told the public in no uncertain terms that your children, sprung from your loins, belong to everybody.
“I am disappointed in ‘the Village’ of Fargo Moorhead, West Fargo,” writes Cheryl the creepy neighbor. “You [sic] child is, in my opinion, moderately obese and should not be consuming sugar and treats to the extent of some children this Halloween season.”
What Cheryl is doing is bullying, to be sure, but you see, it’s liberal bullying, bullying for a good cause, so it’s okay.
Of course she’s also right that parents need to stop feeding their kids crap when they already have all the mass of a football player in half the height (I’m looking at you, southern and Hispanic parents). And it’s certainly her own business if she wants to give some kids candy and some other kids a letter of rebuke. They came to her house, after all; she can give them whatever they want.
But telling the parents that their kids are fat, which of course will get around to the kid when he asks his mom what the letter says, is unnecessary. It’s okay to think to yourself or say to your friend under your breath, “That kid is huge,” but to tell the person or the person’s parents is mean.
And here’s where Cheryl does her duty as communist “village” mom: “My hope is that you will step up as a parent and ration candy this Halloween and not allow your child to continue these unhealthy eating habits.”
“Thank You,” she closes, because not only are our kids her own, but “you” is now apparently a proper noun.
Hillary Clinton and Cheryl the Creepy Neighbor 2016: All Your Children Belong To Us.