Walmart Begins ‘Gray Bag’ Collection after Realizing Gendered Clothing is Wrong

According to Bloomberg, Target has decided to remove the gender labels from many of their children’s departments. This came after an outpouring of complaints from customers regarding gendered signage.

“The kids’ bedding section will no longer feature boy and girl signage, and the toy department will be without labels and pink or blue paper on the shelves, Minneapolis-based Target said on its website Friday.”

Target added:

“We heard you, and we agree. Right now, our teams are working across the store to identify areas where we can phase out gender-based signage to help strike a better balance.”

However, Bloomberg reports that Target isn’t going all the way:

“Gender labels will remain in the kids’ clothing section because of sizing and fit differences.”

Not to be outdone, Walmart has decided to remove all gender labels. As part of its new initiative, Walmart will no longer sell gendered or sized clothing items to anyone of any age, but instead, one-size-fits-all gray bags, designed to make everyone equal in appearance.

Of the transition into non-gendered, non-sized clothing, recently appointed Vice President of Homogenization Jess Moreno said:

“We’ve heard your complaints, and we’ve listened. Bras, panties, boxers, tee shirts, blouses, slacks, dresses, fitted jeans, and button-ups no longer represent the society we’ve become. We now recognize that everyone is everything. We don’t have the right to assign gender, race, sexual identity, or size to anyone, and to recognize this, we’ve given up all those things, and started our gray bag collection.”

Marci, an obese, lesbian, trans-racial gender studies major at Vassar, was thrilled when she first heard about the gray bag collection, saying:

“Finally, a store that doesn’t label me without my consent! It’s so refreshing to look over a sea of gray bags, and know that I can simply pick one out (with my eyes closed, if I want), avoid emotional triggers like sizes, and colors, and walk out feeling affirmed.”

Marci’s anorexic, transgender, cohabitation partner Leslie was equally pleased:

“As a transgender anorexic, buying clothes was always a nightmare. I would walk out of the store feeling judged, and it would take weeks of affirmation therapy to regain my self-worth. But now, we all look the same because of the gray bag collection.”

When asked what’s next for Walmart, Moreno, who is gender-unidentified his/her/itself said:

“Fingers crossed, Walmart may go light-free. We believe that wandering the store in total darkness is the next step in our equalization process.”

Moreno says to expect Walmart to be light-free as early as 2016.