The Twelve Days Of Feminist Christmas

Feminists are one of the left’s most schizophrenic sub-species. They can never seem to make up their minds about what they believe.

What feminists don’t want men to do:

  • Lump all women into one category
  • Treat women as if they are merely a vagina
  • Call women sluts
  • Believe that women are dependent on others
  • Think that all women want is sex

What feminists do:

  • Lump all women into one category: all true women are feminists, they say, and if a female disagrees with feminism, she isn’t a real woman at all
  • Behave as if the essence of a woman is her vagina, identifying themselves as merely an owner of that body part, dressing up as giant vaginas in feminist marches, and reading aloud monologues dedicated to vaginas
  • Call themselves sluts, which they’re so proud of that they engage in “slutwalks
  • Encourage women to be dependent on others, to take advantage of men at every opportunity
  • Want the government to subsidize their sex lives

As for that last bullet point, it’s Christmas now, and slutwalkers, formerly known as feminists, are proud to show us just how sex-obsessed they are (just don’t call them sex-obsessed!).

An Arizona branch of Planned Genocide–er, Parenthood–have written a clever little parody of “The Twelve Days of Christmas.”

Here are the gifts their true loves gave to them, as sung with accompaniment by an acoustic guitar:

  1. A brand-new box of Plan B [for consequence-free sex]
  2. Two ParaGards [for consequence-free sex]
  3. Three diaphragms [for consequence-free sex]
  4. Four Depo shots [for consequence-free sex]
  5. Five NuvaRings [for consequence-free sex]
  6. Six spermicides [for consequence-free sex]
  7. Seven dental dams [for consequence-free oral sex]
  8. Eight female condoms [for consequence-free sex]
  9. Nine non-hormonal sponges [for consequence-free sex]
  10. Ten latex condoms [for consequence-free sex]
  11. Eleven peel-away patches [for consequence-free sex]
  12. Twelve packs of pills [for consequence-free sex]

Have a good Christmas, readers. Don’t let feminist moral degeneracy ruin it for you. If anything, let it brighten your day; you, after all, are superior to them.