NYC Mayor Goes for the “Immobile Illiterate” Demographic in Latest Scheme to Get More Democrat Voters

The best argument against democracy is a five-minute conversation with the average voter.” – Winston Churchill

If ever there were a truism for the ages, it’s the above quote by Churchill. We can adapt to new technological gadgets with the ease of a child mind, yet it seems we’re dumber now than we’ve ever been. Perhaps not dumber, just less engaged with the things that truly matter.

Appearing on “Face the Nation” for the first time, New York City “Mayor” Michael Bloomberg said something offhand that had me itching. His words began to pick at my brain like that gross kid in elementary school who would always pick at his scabs:

“We have to get to voting across the country, we have to simplify registration across the country…But I don’t think New York City or New York State are doing well enough either.”

I’m sorry—simplify voter registration? Maybe I need to clear the wax buildup from my ears, but my doctor said my ears were perfect, so I must have heard him correctly. He’s just a retard. Simplify voter registration?

Let’s break this down. I live in New York City, and I just applied to have my voter registration changed. It took me all of two minutes to find the application online, and have it sent to my address. Moreover, once it gets here, all I need to do is write down my name, address, social security number or ID card number. That’s it. Oh, well, I forgot; it does get really rough. I have to put a check or an “X” in these, like, enclosed squares with blank space inside them—I think they’re called check…boxes (am I saying that right?), indicating my age and gender.

If I somehow have neither an ID nor a social security number, I can attach a utility bill, bank statement, paycheck, government check, or any other government document that proves I am who I say I am.

I can also register to vote online through the DMV, download the PDF myself, or go to a voter registration center.

Basically, if I’m not a doofus, I can register to vote—which got me thinking. Why would one simplify something that is already aggressively simple? And how would one do that? There are two answers:

  1. People are so lazy, stupid, and/or unaware that they need something to be simpler than using a pen to write some stuff down.
  2. The only way to make registering to vote easier than it already is—knowing where you live and who you are, then writing that down—is automatic registration at age 18. But here’s the thing, automatic registration would require—you guessed it—some type of government issued ID, to which the left is so vehemently opposed.

The thing is, the Democrats want stupid voters. They want stupid voters because stupid voters can be easily manipulated. It’s why they want to lower the voting age to 16 and make it even easier to register. But unless you’re an immobile illiterate, you can figure out how to register to vote in this state–and I’m sure it’s similar in all 57 states.

What I’m saying is, the Democrats want the youth vote (see: easily manipulated), and the immobile illiterate vote (see: easy target). The immobile illiterate is perhaps one of the only demographics they haven’t locked down. That, and “intelligent and well-informed”—they just can’t seem to snag that ever-shrinking demo.

Here are my proposals:

  1. Keep voter registration the same. If someone can’t figure it out, perhaps they shouldn’t be voting anyway.
  2. A civics test should be required prior to registration in order to weed out those who can’t answer the tough questions like “Who was the first President of the United States?” and “What is the Electoral College?” Again, if someone doesn’t know the answers to these most basic questions, maybe they shouldn’t get to vote until they do some self-initiated learning. There’s always next time, kids.
  3. Repeal the 26th amendment, and raise the voting age to at least 25, so the misty dew of youth (see: ignorance) has time to dry up as voters experience real life. That way, there’s a smaller chance first-time voters will pull the lever for a whack-job with fancy slogans (see: Obama/every Democrat ever).

In conclusion: Maybe it’s best that the lazy, unaware, and uninformed don’t vote. I mean, we’ve got enough morons voting as is; do we really want an even higher volume of stupid people flooding the system with their inane opinions? I don’t. Then again, I’m not a Democrat.