Why I Love Rahm: Chicago to Video-Record Gun Sales–by the Psychotic Liberal

By the Psychotic Liberal:

RAHM EMANUEL IS THE BEST MAYOR EVER OMG! I can totally see why President Barack Obama hired him in his first term. This guy really knows his stuff and he’s very progressive. We need his brand of progress in this country.

Here’s the awesome news from CBS’s Chicago affiliate:

Mayor Rahm Emanuel is proposing a far-reaching ordinance that would keep gun stores out of most parts of the city and require them to videotape every sale to deter customers from buying firearms for crooks.

ASFNGSMDFKJ;GS;DF CAN YOU BELIEVE THAT?! THIS GUY IS BRILLIANT! WHY HAS NOBODY THOUGHT OF THAT BEFORE?!

The ordinance is a response to a [right-wing nut-job tea-bagger] federal judge’s ruling in January that Chicago’s longtime ban on gun stores was unconstitutional.

The judge wants a war? He’s got a war. Mayor Emanuel’s gonna lay the beat-down on him, son!

Under the proposed ordinance, special-use zoning would keep gun stores out of 99.5 percent of Chicago, limiting them to pockets of the North, West and South sides, city officials said. The stores could not be within 500 feet of a school or park.

See, the problem with conservatards is that they’re stupid. Chicago has huuuuuge amounts of gun violence, mostly from white people, and yet conservatards want there to be even more gun stores! How does that make any sense? There’s all that gun violence, so Mayor Emanuel is doing the sensible thing by banning gun stores so that all those white shooters can’t buy those portable death machines.

Chicago’s proposed ordinance would require gun stores to submit a safety plan outlining exterior lighting, surveillance cameras and alarm systems, as well as storage of guns and ammunition.

Tea-baggers will whine about their “right” to “privacy” and whatnot, but what does that even mean? People are seen by the other customers when they buy guns, so why not allow their faces to be kept on video tape? If they have nothing to hide, why do they want their privacy, hmmm?

And for all you idiots who say, “But Rahm Emanuel has armed security guards, so he’s a hypocrite”…umm, no? he’s the mayor; he needs protection. If he gets shot, there won’t be a mayor anymore, and then all the white people of the city will start shooting people every day. His armed security is to protect him. When Chicagoans buy guns, they’re not buying them to protect him, so there’s a big difference. Trained cops protect the citizens specifically so that you don’t need a gun.

The only downside to Mayor Emanuel’s awesomeness is that he makes it harder for me to decide if I’d rather have him or Hillary Clinton run for president. And that he’s a white male, of course.