Let’s Stop Pretending To Be Offended By Everything

Political correctness has become a straightjacket.” – Gary Oldman

This is going to be a short one. As a society, we’re Benjamin Buttoning; we’re regressing daily into weaker, more feeble, sensitive creatures.

The delicate flowers on the interwebs had a meltdown this week after two actors made a joke, using the words “slut,” and “whore.”

During an interview with Digital Spy, Avengers: Age of Ultron Stars Chris Evans and Jeremy Renner hurt some feels (goodness, I’m already crying):

After being asked by DS what their opinions were regarding Black Widow’s new relationship with Bruce Banner, Renner, with absolute deadpan humor, replied: “She’s a slut.” Evans then rocked back with laughter, saying “I was gonna say something along the same line. Complete whore.” As they continued to joke around with their interviewer, Renner added “She has a prosthetic leg anyway.”

Then the world burned.

Social media blew up with cries of “sexism,” “misogyny,” and the worst brand of all: “SLUT SHAMERS!” Evans and Renner quickly and fearfully crumbled like the proverbial cookie, issuing statements to Entertainment Weekly.

Evans’ was a boilerplate apology–the kind you see every other week when a celebrity has to tell the world they’re sorry for saying or doing something we all do, but in front of a camera:

“We answered in a very juvenile and offensive way that rightfully angered some fans. I regret it and sincerely apologize.”

Renner’s was a bit more sarcastic:

“I am sorry that this tasteless joke about a fictional character offended anyone. It was not meant to be serious in any way. Just poking fun during an exhausting and tedious press tour.”

Here’s my rebuttal to all the outrage: How about we stop pretending to be offended by everything? We used to have thick skin, now we’re practically see-through. Let’s toughen ourselves up a bit, huh?

I use the word “whore” jokingly on a near-daily basis. We all use various words and tell jokes that have been deemed “offensive” by an ambiguous council of morons. And to those who don’t: congratulations, you probably have no friends.

The funny thing is that it’s not until someone in front of a camera utters these forbidden words that it becomes a national crisis. Suddenly, the council–using their exceptional organizational skills–sends out missives on social media, and we’re all forced to have a national moment of silence for all the fragile psyches who can’t take a joke.

Invariably, “discussions” are held to help “heal the wounds,” and use the opportunity as a “learning experience,” and……this sentence is too boring to finish. Short and sweet headline: Jokes no longer allowed in America because of feels.

If we’re not allowed to make jokes anymore, I guess it’s time to install my own Iron Dome, cause the word police are gonna be on me like Hamas on Israel.

Get over it, daffodils.