Ladies, Don’t Make Sandwiches For Your Boyfriend; That Would be Sexist

So, if your boyfriend or husband asks you to make him one of your specialty sandwiches, yell at him, saying, “This isn’t the 1950s! Get it yourself, jerk!” These days, women have been liberated from all those destructive social norms of America’s embarrassing past, which did nothing but enslave women to dominating males. Nowadays, we know better. The chains of the past have been severed.

But there’s a new social norm that women need to abide by. A new set of chains, if you will. But they’re a good kind of chains. The kind that protect women against sexist attacks. Women need to be wary of males who complement their cooking. If the rude and dominating male complements his female civil union partner’s cooking or thanks her for keeping the house clean, that’s the woman’s cue to send the brute out of the house and change the locks. That kind of sexism must not be tolerated. And not only that, what was that poor, naïve woman thinking? Cooking and cleaning? She needs to grow up. This is 2013. We don’t live in a black and white TV show.

These were the kinds of reactions from liberals that Stephanie Smith got when she started a blog called 300 Sandwiches. The woman also happens to write for the New York Post. And speaking of black and white, Stephanie is black, and her boyfriend is white. He looks something like a younger Julian Assange. Here’s her “mission” taken from her blog:

 My boyfriend E is obsessed with two things:  Star Wars and sandwiches. During a Sunday lunchtime viewing of “Return of the Jedi” he told me:  “You are 300 sandwiches away from an engagement ring!” …And so, I got cooking …

In her “About Me” section, she writes:

 I’m a Midwest girl living in New York, a writer and foodie who loves a good meal. I love chocolate, pork buns, and sushi more than I love a sale at Saks. I’m a woman who loves her man, but also never backs down from a challenge. If he wants three hundred sandwiches, then I’ll deliver.

Following one of her articles on the New York Post about her humorous engagement endeavor, feminists and liberal media personalities started sounding off on Twitter, voicing their utter outrage and contempt for this woman conforming to anachronistic norms:

  • MSNBC’s Christopher Hayes:  “Wait a second:this a**hole was literally waking up every morning and saying ‘Why haven’t you made me a sandwich yet?’”
  • Feminist blogger Amanda Marcotte:  “Instead of asking for a ring from ‘make me a sandwich’ guy, I recommend changing the locks when he goes to work.”
  • HuffPostWomen:  “Yes, this is real.”
  • WeTalkWomen:  “’We’re not complex. Just do something nice for us. Like make a sandwich.’ Is it really 2013? Doesn’t feel like it!”
  • Patty Shaw-Ramirez:  “Is this real life? I don’t even have anything witty to say about this because its so awful.”
  • CrushCrave:  “When a knuckle sandwich is clearly needed…”

I guess they’re all racists, since they’re criticizing her, a black woman, for making sandwiches for her boyfriend. Not only is that breaking the feminist rule about preparing meals for evil men, it’s breaking racial rules. A black woman serving a white man? Forget the 1950s. This couple must be stuck in the 1850s.

I don’t really know anything about Stephanie Smith, where she stands politically. Like it matters. All I know is that her sandwich recipes and photos on her blog look incredible. I’m going to be breaking social norms and showing these recipes to my wife, because I want to try some of these. I think I’ll start with Sandwich #176:  roasted chicken, sweet potato mash and Swiss chard.