GOP Strategist: Ted Cruz Is “Having Bunny Sex”

Alex Castellanos is a GOP strategist. He says he’s got Ted Cruz figured out. Here’s what he said to Anderson Cooper, and it will likely leave you scratching your head:

“A friend explained to me today, finally, what Ted Cruz is doing. And I finally understand: He’s having bunny sex. In nature, there are boom-and-bust cycles. The snowshoe hare, every 10 years, multiplies sixfold.”

At this point, even Anderson Cooper is baffled. “Are you high?” he asks. Castellanos continues:

“I’m high. Totally high. Let me explain. I wish I was [high]. The snowshoe hare — I thought it’s a marvelous explanation — every 10 years, multiplies sixfold. Bunnies like sex apparently. But the boom produces a bust. They press their food supply, they invite predators. Right now, Ted Cruz, what’s he’s doing, feels good. He’s growing his supporters. He’s leading the Republican Party, I think, into a bust.”

Strategists and media types say these kinds of ridiculous things anytime there’s someone in Washington who in some way stands up to the establishment. Everybody knows that if you’re a politician, your job is to go along to get along. That’s how things get done. That’s how we smoothly transition into socialism. We can’t achieve our socialistic goals with people like Cruz and Paul rocking the boat.

Everybody knows that Washington politics is nothing but a sick and twisted game played by sick and twisted people. So when people like Cruz or Paul come along with their “filibusters of hate” and refusal to play the game, the only thing the establishment players can say is that these tea partiers are just, well “playing a game.” Or having “bunny sex.” (?) And they’re in it for the easy money. They know they’re not going to actually achieve anything. They just want to be the populist hero for a little while and hopefully cash in soon.

They say that Cruz “knew” that he wasn’t going to be able to defund Obamacare. Well, I didn’t know that. It becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy though, because people start saying things like, “Well, I’d like Obamacare to be defunded and repealed too, but it’s not going to happen, so I won’t support those efforts. And Ted Cruz is an idiot for trying.”

It’s like what naïve voters said about Ron Paul:  “I like him and all, but I can’t vote for him, because he can’t win. And his supporters are idiots for wasting their votes. Everyone knows we’re supposed to vote only for the candidate who the media say is most electable.” Yeah, a lot of good that did. Actually, the “most electable” candidate did win. I guess all those Romney voters wasted their vote.

This is why there should never be any fights in Washington at all. Because the tea party and anti-establishment factions will always lose. So, let’s not waste our energy trying to fight these petty battles. Let’s go along to get along, because that’s the only way we’ll ever “get things done.” Sure, we might be slowly digging our own graves, but at least we’ll be accomplishing something, right? [sarcasm alert]