Dem. Rep. Says Congress not Paid Enough; My Amazing Proposal

Virginia’s Democratic Representative Jim Moran believes Congress isn’t being paid enough to wreck the country. They worked hard for that 13-percent approval rating of theirs, dagnabbit, and what do we give them?

“I think the American people should know that the members of Congress are underpaid,” Moran said. “I understand that it’s widely felt that they under-perform, but the fact is that this is the board of directors for the largest economic entity in the world.”

If he were part of an actual board of directors, he’d be fired along with everyone else. The shareholders would be asking where their $17 trillion went, and Moran and the rest of them would be residing in a prison cell by now.

He also had the nerve to say this: “A lot of members can’t even afford to live decently when they’re at their job in Washington. Some of them…have small, little apartment units and…they’re not able to spend the time they should with their families.”

Aww, poor representatives. They get paid $174,000 a year and can only afford ritzy apartments. They deserve to live in even higher luxury, but how can they afford McMansions with a mere $174,000 salary?

Being away from one’s family in another state while you work in D.C. for months at a time does warrant some extra money, but to use that as an excuse for needing more money than they already receive, plus all the benefits they get for working for the government? Give me a break.

“I just think it’s an important thing,” Moran said, “for the American people to be aware of, that they [Congressmen] should be entitled to a per diem, as is provided for most state legislatures.”

Tell you what, bub. We, the civilians you routinely screw over; we, the 87 percent of us who give you no approval; we will allow our taxes to be raised to pay you more money when you earn it. If you want more money, you have to work for it.

In fact, I propose that each person in Congress be paid based on his or her own approval ratings in his hometown. For every percentage point of approval he has (according to the average of polls in his hometown’s area) he can have $200 per month.

So, let’s say poor Jim Moran’s approval rating among his constituents of Virginia’s 8th district is 48 percent for the month of March. That would mean his paycheck in March would be $9,600. If he were to maintain a 48-percent approval for the whole year, by the end of it he will have earned himself $115,200. If that’s too little for him (and no doubt it is, since this guy is complaining about receiving “only” $174,000 a year), then he can work harder to please his constituents.

Ninety percent approval? Congratulations, you’re pleasing your constituents immensely, and you earn $18,000 that month. Keep that up and you could earn $216,000 that year!

But what if a politician has only four percent approval? Tough crap. He only gets $800 that month. If he doesn’t like it, he can find a new job, one where he will hopefully please his boss more than four percent of the time.

You work for us for now, though, and as long as that’s the case, we expect you to make us happy to pay you. You are not entitled to this job.