Conservatism Needs Funnier Comedians; Suggestions Offered

It is easier to get people to listen to you and to sympathize and appreciate your views if you can make them laugh.

Conservatives, many of them, are unfunny people. They are natural pessimists (to their credit) in a perpetual struggle against the cultural zeitgeist (to their credit), and I think these attributes lead to taking life more seriously and thus not having a very good sense of humor.

That’s not to say that there aren’t people who are known among everyday conservatives as comedians, but these comedians are not funny.

Steven Crowder comes to mind. The fact that he’s a comedian is only a technicality; he has yet to be comedic, or at least to say something that most of society would think is funny. I understand humor is subjective and I understand (do I ever!) that society is a sludge pit of degeneracy, but human civilization is still well-practiced in humor.

Conservatives adore Crowder. I think, though, that this is merely because he’s a conservative and not because he’s funny. Because he’s not. At all. Crowder’s own facial expressions convey that he knows he’s not funny, but if we would be so kind, could we please laugh at his jokes?

Conservatives want to be able to say they have funny people on their side (I refer to conservatives as “they” because I no longer identify with them; this is through no shift of theirs, but through my own shift further to the right where most conservatives dare not stray).

This is much like their desperation to find a conservative black man whose example they can use to battle the accusations of racism (and never ever will this battle be to any avail, so please, conservatives, for the love a’ Jiminy, stop fighting it).

A fine example of this can be found in black doctor Ben Carson’s saying something bad about Obamacare at a prayer breakfast, and then conservatives, without knowing anything substantial about the man, jumping up immediately with rally cries of “Ben Carson for President 2016!” The entirety of the Republican House disses Obamacare on a regular basis, but I don’t see conservatives calling for Speaker John Boehner to run for president.

Likewise, conservatives turn to unfunny people to represent the comedy branch of their ideology simply for the fact that their selected comedians share their ideology.

It also does no good when their go-to comedian is a disgusting slob who looks and speaks as if he’s auditioning for a Deliverance remake. I don’t know what Sean Hannity was thinking in bringing Larry the Cable Guy onto his program on Monday, but, dude, come on. Larry the Cable Guy?

Larry has a fanbase among deep-red republicans larger than the “blue collar” comedian’s gut, but the only purposes served in giving him any voice in conservatism is (1) to preach to the proverbial choir and (2) to make conservatives look bad to those who are already wary of venturing into the proverbial church.

There are conservatives who are quite funny, and activists would do well to put them at the forefront, as opposed to Mr. Crowder and Mr. Cable Guy.

There are only a few I can think of who are not immediately recognizable names and who are hilarious, but they are Gavin McInnes, John Derbyshire, and Jim Goad, each of whom write for the excellent TakiMag.com; The Daily Caller’s Jim Treacher; Townhall.com’s Kurt Schlichter, author and satirist P. J. O’Rourke, and, perhaps funniest of all, National Review Online’s Mark Steyn. Check these guys out.

Conservatives won’t lose any culture war just for having unfunny comedic spokesmen, but it certainly won’t help them either.