Clinton Campaign Manager Tells What May Be the Dumbest Lie in Recorded Human History

Politics is spin. I know that. I know at this very moment that every single politician running for President is extremely calculating in their strategies. That doesn’t bother me. Calculation isn’t indicative of rot, it’s merely a byproduct of living in a word in which any single thing you say and do is under constant surveillance and scrutiny. Long story short, I’m no longer dizzy from the everyday political spin.

Until today.

On Sunday’s “Face the Nation,” Hillary’s Campaign Manager Robbie Mook made the following remark, which is so ludicrous we may have entered a new dimension of spin:

“No poll shows that voters don’t trust Hillary.”

And there it was: the worst lie ever told. I mean, he could have said: “Well, polls aren’t always representative of the truth.” That would have been spin. Or he could have said: “That depends on who was surveyed.” I could go on, but the point is, anything would have been better than what he said because, well, he just flatly lied. There was no artistic effort to his lie. It wasn’t spin. It was just…there.

Oh, but it gets better. He then added to his dung-pile of a lie with this double-down: “No poll says that.” HE SAID IT AGAIN! But—and I’m sure he’s well aware of this—polls do say she’s untrustworthy.

A CNN/ORC poll from late May asked respondents the question: “Thinking about the following characteristics and qualities, please say whether you think it applies or doesn’t apply to Hillary Clinton.”

There were several characteristics, but the last characteristic was “honest and trustworthy.” 57% of respondents replied “Does not apply.” This is up from just last March, when only 49% said that Clinton wasn’t trustworthy. Ha, only 49.

An April Quinnipiac poll of multiple states asked: “Would you say that – Hillary Clinton is honest and trustworthy, or not?” In Colorado, 56-38 untrustworthy. In Iowa, 49-43 untrustworthy. In Virginia, 52-40 untrustworthy.

The basic premise here is: Yes, polls do say that Hillary isn’t trusted by the American people. So why lie on such a basic premise? Oh, but it gets better.

Mook went on to simply change the subject:

“First of all the central question in this race is whether voters can trust Hillary Clinton to be a tenacious fighter for them to go to bat for them, to push back on stacked deck that kept middle class behind the answer to that is overwhelmingly, yes. To anyone who watched her speech yesterday that was abundantly clear. She’ll be tenacious fighter for every day Americans. That’s the question in this election voters can trust her to be that fighter as she said people call hear lot of things but they don’t call hear quitter.”

Oh, that’s the question! I thought it was polls…showing she’s…untrustworthy, but it’s actually that she’s not a quitter! I was so turned around! Well, I’m glad that’s cleared up. See how he even used the word “trust” in his response? And twice, no less! What a Campaign Manager, this guy! A master tactician if there ever was one.

I’ve completely forgotten about those polls. Polls? What polls? From what I hear, Americans really trust her to not be a quitter and to fight for the blah blah blah middle class blah.

This is a new level of spin. This isn’t spin at all, really, it’s just a dead stop, then a lie. I mean, if it’s this easy, let’s all get on the bandwagon while the cash is flowing, am I right?

I guess there’s a reason his last name is Mook.