Don’t Want Kids? Don’t Parent Mine! The Childfree Need To Enjoy Life Without Claiming Children Need Them


Meghan Daum doesn’t want to have children. She writes in the Los Angeles Times to tell us so and explain her reasons. The only thing that made me wince was her mentioning her husband’s “heartbreak,” but I’ll agree politically that it’s her choice. And Daum gets points with me for refusing to use “overpopulation” as a rationale.

But Daum’s suggestion for “re-framing” the question should make alarm sirens scream:

“But just as my childhood was made better by teachers and other mentors whose unique perspectives were, in some cases, a direct result of not having their own kids, a lot of folks who work with young people recognize that the best thing they can do for future generations is to play a role other than parent — at least when they’re not driving their Porsches and hitting the snooze button. And that’s why this whole childlessness discussion needs to be reframed. …[T]he point is not simply that society should stop judging those of us who don’t have children. It’s that society actually needs us. Children need us. It may take a village to raise a child, but not every villager needs to be a mom or dad. Some of us just need to be who we are. The children we never had would thank us. And so should you.”

I am not thanking anyone under such a “reframed” discussion.

There is a possible context in which Daum’s words might tend toward a good end. But in our context, where the media openly claims children are community property, Daum’s words could easily lead to a bad place.

Daum may be personally wonderful. But I have no reason to trust our present cultural/political regime with helping raise children. Adding an army of parentfree volunteers along the lines of Daum’s description will make it worse.

Daum uses herself as an example as “a court advocate in the foster care system.” (Is this an unpaid volunteer position? Or is this one of Daum’s jobs?) Maybe Daum is a great court advocate. But I fear that many are going to be the kind of people who, for instance, think pot smokers should not be allowed to be parents, and who get little children killed for it (an extreme but real example that represents many other injustices that never make the news).

Childfree adults will tend to be college-educated professionals. They will tend to be career achievers. There is nothing wrong with those things. But this means they will gravitate towards positions of economic and social power from which they can judge, second-guess, and otherwise torment parents for not raising their children “correctly.” We are going to get (if we don’t already have) a ruling regime of opinionated “helpers” in politics, government, the media, education, and so-called “social services.” They will repeat the mantra to themselves: “Children need us.”

It won’t be good for parents and it won’t be good for the children.







Posted in Email Featured, Family, Government Control Tagged with: , ,
  • Inspiri

    Dear Editors(s): Where do your find your writers??!! This guy would fail high school composition let alone frame an argument correctly on his GMAT! Mark- you can’t propose an thesis, an argument ([Childless adults] will gravitate towards positions of economic and social power from which they can judge, second-guess, and otherwise torment parents for not raising their children “correctly”), without providing supporting claims. If you don’t, then you have not stated your case properly. In fact, you’ve made no case. In other words, you have not provided any reasons to influence the reader, to convince them your supposition is accurate! Go back to school

    • http://biggirlpants.typepad.com heidiannej

      perhaps you should make certain your grammar, sentence structure and punctuation are 100% accurate before you take another writer to task. perhaps you’ve already returned to school & they’ve kicked you out?

      • Sue

        You beat me to it. Thanks!

      • RON G

        Excellent comment. But you wasted your time with inspiri. Judging her by past comments, she believes that her position is the only one.

      • Inspiri

        Thank u for not judging the content of my argument. I’m glad you took te kow road. It shows your capacity to obfuscate. Writer’s STUPIDITY stands. I dont get paid to post propaganda, Mark does.

    • PipSqueak

      I’m not challenging the writer’s grammar, but I do agree with the part of your assertion that the writer provides no evidence to substantiate the point that educated people will try to parent other people’s children. Having been childless (not child free, it was not my choice in way you slice it), spending my time to better my education, volunteering and donating money to many child centric organization, spending time with nieces and nephews, and teaching in middle school, I can attest that I did those things to be of value to society, not to judge those who were more fortunate than I was in childbearing. I had no idea that this is how some people in my political community felt about my choices. We are happily expecting a baby after 12 years, and I hope these experiences from my childless years will make me a better parent to her. Geesh – what a terrible editorial.

      • jgeorgia200

        Actually if you have ever listened to a ‘village raising a child’ BS person, they are mostly over educated (as in initials after their name) and they all second guess and torment those peons beneath themselves. That’s all the proof I need. But since you asked INSPIRI in their condensing tone of superiority proves the author’s point.

      • PipSqueak

        I guess I qualify as “over-educated,” as I have letters after my name, and have been asked to speak about the values of classical education and core knowledge, not to be confused with common core. Also, having lived life without children, I can vouch that there are many with children who are equally condescending to those without children, and may or may not have letters after their names. Neither side of this story has a monopoly on condescension.

      • Corky Rowe

        You pay too much heed to those who want nothing more than to toot their own horn. My wife of almost 51 years and I have raised two sons, been very instrumental in the raising of several nieces, nephews, grandchildren and great-grandchildren, and we have seen how many others, teachers, friends, and just acquaintances, have touched theirs and our lives in so many wonderful ways. We all learn from each other, if we take the time to watch and listen carefully. Just because some folks choose not to have children doesn’t necessarily mean they don’t like children, it may just mean they don’t feel they have the wherewithall to be able to raise children, ( it’s certainly not cheap). But, even though money is important to pay the bills, it’s not the most important part of having children. Others may just not want to have the responsibility that comes with having and raising children. That doesn’t make them bad people and every one of the people that we know who are childless by choice are very kind, caring individuals who get along very well with children and thoroughly enjoy their company.

      • Inspiri

        Thank you for laying out your story. Im not surprised you see what I saw (and it had nothing to do with grammar). I agree with you, this was a terrible editorial.

      • http://www.paltalk.com/patrioticconservativeamericans Charles O McVey Sr. SFC E7 USA Retired, Rev D. D.

        Evidently you have never heard of State Agency’s often referred to as Children Protective Services, many of the females working in those agencies never had any children and never wanted any. They do however, want one thing, that is to tell every parent with children how best to raise their children. I am not referring to the legitimate Child Abuse Cases, or Child Neglect Cases, I refer to those instances where rules are made, at the state or county level, demanding that each parent must take certain actions, California recently enacted a rule/law that mandates that if a girl claims to be a boy in a girls body and she wants to use the boys restroom then the School WILL allow it, the same applies if a boy claims to be a girl trapped in a girls body and wants to use the girls restroom again the school must allow it. Parents in CA Schools are up in arms, but they have been told that they do not have the right to prevent it from happening.

    • blackyb

      From the looks of your typing, you need to go back to school.
      You say “an” thesis? Where do they teach that “an” is used before a “t”?

      • http://www.paltalk.com/patrioticconservativeamericans Charles O McVey Sr. SFC E7 USA Retired, Rev D. D.

        In public indoctrination centers (Schools).

    • 5alive5

      Perhaps he thinks the message is more important than the structure of his sentences! I know I had no problem understanding the article in question. Perhaps your comprehension needs to improve. Just as an example of the authors point, my daughter, at age 4 went to a pre school for six months. The childless teacher who had education, but no PERSONAL experience told us that our daughter was not ready for school because her “social skills” were not developed enough. Luckily we didn’t listen and enrolled our daughter that fall. to make a short story of it, she completed school k-12 and was never off the honor roll, had MANY friends, played tennis, softball, marching band. symphonic band, and Jazz band. she went on to obtain her Bachelors degree and is now happily married. She is also looking for a job in her field and is FINE. that pre school teacher needs to raise a kid before she judges other people’s kids!

      • Inspiri

        It sounds like teaching was applying her training to make an informed opinion. Perhaps it influenced your parenting – to give her social development a little more attention that year – and that made all the difference. But we’ll never know because your bias (liberals are for nanny state) blinds the truth that childless adults bring objectivity and love to the world. But then I don’t expect to change your opinions. I haven’t provided any evidence to support my claim. (got my critique of mark’s editorial now?)

      • libslie

        Had a very similar experience with my son’s first grade teacher. She was worried that our son, who was doing 4th grade work in the 1st grade, wasn’t fitting in as well as he should. He was BORED with his classmates & not interested in the types of activities they enjoyed. The childless, twenty something teacher didn’t understand why our son wasn’t enjoying Candyland at school when he was playing chess at home.

    • libslie

      Go back to the KOS where your mindless observations/drivel is appreciated.

      • timpclimber

        Had the same experience as a child as did my three children. Grade school was boring to all of us. Fortunately my wife and I have a large home library and were willing to take our children to visit with experts when they were beyond us. Wish there had been a Montessori or IB school in our neighborhood when our children were young.

      • Barbc

        Libshe I had the same problem with my now 20 year old daughter. She did / does not fit into the cookie cutter mold. She struggled all through school until we put her in the alternative high school. Her GPA went from point-7 YES, to 3.5. She is smart but learns differently. The schools, private and public, all follow the same mold. Which is fine for about 85% of the population, the rest struggle. She never says “I can’t”. She says how? Her comprehension is wired different. She is just now learning how to multi task which she could not figure out when she was in school.

    • libslie

      Shouldn’t you be at a pro choice rally with your fellow feminazis, throwing used tampons & feces at pro life lawmakers?

    • Owen

      If he said might instead of will, would that have helped? No Mark didn’t “prove” that they “will”, but it is something to worry about. (Janet Reno deciding that Elian Gonzalez should be with his father in Cuba.[in 2000] )

    • Tango Tommy

      His “inspiration” probably goes back to the early 60′s and Dr Spock. Remember him?
      He’s the rectum that taught parents how not to parent. Don’t worry about providing little Johnny with direction, Don’t hold him accountable. And what ever you do, don’t smack him on the butt when he needs it. That was Spocks contribution to the present nanny state we live in That gave birth to the idea that “it takes a community to raise a child” which gave birth to the explosion of elitist social workers teach that children “need” them. Solution? Outlaw the practice of social work.

    • http://comcast Michael Burch

      It never ceases to amaze how people without children are always telling parents how to properly raise children.And then there are those rich people who pay other people to raise their children..they are the ones who want to write books on parenting..just amazing.

  • Laura

    Despite what the others say about grammar, I think your point was clearly made, and very correct. Isn’t it like others to complain not about the context, but the grammar? Apparently it’s the only thing they could say was wrong…

    • Inspiri

      IT’S NOT ABOUT MARK’S GRAMMAR. IT IS HIS INABILITY TO WRITE ANALYTICALLY. What assumption underlie HIS thinking behind the argument?
      What explanations or examples did HE provide to strengthen the conclusion?
      What sort of evidence could help strengthen or refute the argument? Mark instead offers only an opinion “But this (being educated) means they will gravitate towards positions of economic and social power from which they can judge, second-guess, and otherwise torment parents for not raising their children “correctly.”” Is ANYONE ON THIS WEBSITE LISTENING!!!!

    • Dan

      When one does not want to respond to a question, It is a common tact to attack the writer in some way in order to confuse or divert the discussion. I have been there.

  • http://Lastresistance JayD

    Bottom line is if you don’t have kids; your opinion matters not. It’s that simple. Stay out of parents business; there are good parents and bad parents.

    Just like we have “childless liberal idiots” and “childless conservatives”

  • Edwin Knight

    Melissa Perry needs to shut her libturd pie hole !

  • Barbc

    Notice how it is those who do not have children who think they know it all.

  • Leisa

    Child-free adults are just that, and I will not judge a woman who has not had children and choose not to have them (unless she has murdered them in utero, which I really am going to judge). But at the same time, I don’t think people who have not had children, who don’t want children, have anything positive to contribute to the education or nurturing of children other than cold hard facts, and probably could do more harm than good. People determine for themselves whether they want to bring a child into this world, but shouldn’t tell other people how to raise their own.

    • http://biggirlpants.typepad.com heidiannej

      I have a sister who has no children – not by her choice, but g-d’s. anyhow, she does have some value in interaction with my children – but telling me how I should’ve raised them is not one of those. she’s very good at taking them (my kids & now granddaughters) for an afternoon of frivolity sans parents. for giving them insite into how much their patents really worry or why we do the “stupid” things we do. it gives the kids a different perspective from a trusted adult.

      however, my sister is not Baum and would not think to undermine me with my children nor my children with their children. all-in-all I don’t believe a non-family-member childless adult has more to offer my children than in a formal education setting.

      • Inspiri

        And now your accusing Baum of undermining parents!!???? Wtf

      • Grandmaliberty

        I have a question. Is g-d short for God.. Is that word not allowed anymore or are people afraid to say it… This is not the first site where I have noticed a reluctance to even type the whole word, God. I am astounded that people have been indoctrinated to that extent.

      • Hein

        @Grandmaliberty Especially in Jewish circles the Divine Name, out of reverence for the Third Commandment, is deliberately “misspelled,” if I may call it that. That is why the Masoretes, in adding vowels to the Old Testament texts, superimposed the vowels of Adonay on the Name YHWH, rendering it “Jehovah” instead of Yahweh – a Name which no Jew will pronounce for sheer reverence, and G-D instead of GOD (we Christians can learn a thing or two from Judaism in that respect!).

      • rothlander

        @Hein

        Christians can learn a lot from the Judaism, but as a Christian you should already know that God is a title and not a name. It is capitalized to referring to the god of the Bible, so it works like a name in that regards. But it is not a name. God never refers to himself as “God”. God says that we are to call him Yahweh. Jehovah is not even a real word, but a mistranslation of Yahweh. So I am curious how angels translated the Jehovah’s Witnesses Bible but failed to understand that!

        Consider that G-D is a curse word and most people consider that using God’s name for vanity.

        Then again, Jesus is not a real word either. It is also a mistranslation of the Hebrew Joshua.

        Oh well, what is important in regards to all of this is that we understand where the words come from and why they are used, not in apply Pharisaic rules to Christians about writing them down.

  • Bro Cope

    inspiri, Baum already provided the supporting evidence. She is a court advocate. She sees her job as exactly what the writer postulated. She is a childless cretin who thinks she knows better how to raise children that she has never had. And what is with “inspiri”? You are in no way inspiring. You are as stupid as Baum.

    • Inspiri

      Well I’m glad someone is paying attention. Mark’s underlying assumption is that court advocates believe they know better than parents…and have the power to judge them. First, that is not true and nonsense. Judges ultimately judge on cases of child abuse and neglect. COURT ADVOCATES are simply advocates for foster children…because, he is advocating for the child in a broken home environment. Second, Mark uses quotations as a device to suggest “correctly” is in eyes of the beholder (Baum). As we internalize his claims from our persona perspective, he seeks to invoke anger/fear that stems from other people telling US (ie. the good parents) how to raise our children. Court advocates are working with children in terrible situations such as physical/mental abuse, neglect, alcoholism, sexual molestation, starvation, etc. These are the stories that define the role of court advocates. Get over it. Mark is a complete knucklehead and the editorial staff have no ethical or moral responsibility to the role of journalism.

    • Inspiri

      Court advocates work with foster children facing sexual, physical, mental abuse and neglect. They are advocates when noone else is. And they don’t make judgments, judges in court do. They simply give voice to the child’s situation. I think that is admirable. But the problem I have with editorial is lazy writing is using our impulse to internalize story from our perspective to invoke/stoke anger and fear of childless adults. Because we (the good parents) hate when others tell us how to raise our children. Mark goes as far as to use quotations as a device to suggest Baum is wrong in judging parenting “correctly”. She’s not advocating for your children; she’s advocating for the 14yr old girl who was molested by foster parent, or the 9yr old ADHD kid who has cigarette burns because his alcoholic father wants his kid to shut up. I am DISGUSTED BY THIS EDITORIAL AND IT OUGHT TO BE REMOVED FROM THIS WEBSITE

      • http://LastResistance Sharon

        It’s not for you to call for the removal of an editorial just because you think it’s wrong. In trying to show how non-judgmental you think you are, you demonstrate you think the rest of us are beneath you. I find your comments to be extremely repugnant.

      • Grandmaliberty

        gee if you are that offended, maybe you should leave the site??

  • http://www.lastresistance.com JayD

    Bottom line is if you don’t have kids your opinion matters not. We have bad parents just like we have great parents. Shut up Melissa Harris (Hyphenating DBag) Perry.

    Liberal idiots that feel the need to stick their noses into something they have no experience in.

  • Brama

    Anyone who chooses not to have kids will always have a level of perspective that is always sub-par to those who do. People who choose not to have kids nowadays tend to view children with more of a ‘possession’ or ‘property’ mindset, that lacks the connected-ness that comes from being an actual parent. It’s like someone who has never lost a child trying to tell someone how to grief. It is one of the most poignant areas of arrogance, and an extreme offense to those who are parents. Most ‘sociologists’ will find that all the touted psychology degrees go out the window when you have your own kids. Reality becomes the actual teacher, and there are critical lessons that cannot be taught with a lifespan development course, or BA in social work.

    • Debra

      I could talk about how offensive your unsupported statement is but I will not go there as it is a matter of opinion. I will bring to your attention that not all childless people are lacking in the experience of raising kids and many are not childless by choice. I will also ask that you think about the hurt in such harsh words before mindlessly typing in regard to a heartache you will never know.

      I do challenge your logic of a ‘property mindset’ being a negative. In my 20+ years experience, it is this very awareness that a child is NOT MINE that stops me from disrespecting parents’ rights. As a matter of fact, every professional I know who has had complaints lodged against them for going outside their rights and legal mandates with a child/client/student has been a parent who believed the family should be ‘doing it right’. You see, I am a school counselor who has had numerous parents over the years want me to work with their children on issues that do not have anything to do with the school environment. It is a conflict of interest and breach of ethics which is against the law and parent permission does not change the legalities. In respectively declining these requests, I have told families that I am flattered with their confidence but limited by my credentials and job title. While a family may trust me to deal with a child, they may not have so much confidence in the next school counselor who works with a student. I do keep a list of resources that refers families to several places that can help when it is not within my power to assist and even encourage them to seek support in times of family need. Personally, I am saddened that I am unable to work in most cases but see the wisdom of the limitation.

    • jdangiel

      I could turn it around and everyone here would agree – too many “parents” treat their children as something worse than mere property. They treat them as extensions of themselves and they don’t love their children so much as they love themselves through their children. Hence the overindulgence, rush to get a lawyer anytime another person resists being their precious kid’s unwilling victim, etc. I agree that the children are not community property to be propagandized by “well-meaning’ lefties. But all they need to grow up to be adult-sized adolescents or even adult-sized predators are typical new age parents who aren’t interested in the tough job of parenting.

      • brama

        Debra, first of all, my comment was clearly directed at those who CHOOSE not to have kids, and yet seem to think that have the same perspective. So my so-called ‘harsh words’ were clearly not directed towards those who cannot have kids. I would never be that stupid, which is why I made that point in my post.
        I do agree that some parents don’t parent their children in a way they should, but there are too many people who choose not to have kids, and miss out on the very thing that makes their criticism lack credibility. In other words, too many non-parents have criticism towards parents, when they themselves are not a parent. Often times, in the mind of a non-parent, everything has its nice little box. All I was saying was that being a parent offers a level of experience that only comes with being a parent. Which is why liberal thinking, especially when it comes from a non-parent, is offensive. My comments were in the general, not in the exceptions.

  • Faithwalk

    It does not take a village to raise a child. It takes a family and some of these types tend to shut us out. I have dealt with Principals and school administrators who are in positions of authority over children but have no concept of children. Our elementary school kids were coming off of a goose spotted playground into lunch and had to either “ask for a pass” to wash their hands (yeah right) or use the hand sanitizer or parent donated baby wipes “display” which of course does not remove dirt or kill viruses. My kid were getting sick. These careers also attract people who prey on children or who cannot get along with adults because they want to dominate. These types tend to shut parents out. They control the PTO and the appointment process resulting in insecure syncophant types who won’t give them any trouble. They would not even press for hand washing until the swine flu threat with no vaccine at that time was in the news.

  • R P

    I will agree with Mrs. Daum on one thing. Thank you for not having kids. Now, stay away from mine.

    • http://www.lastresistance.com JayD

      Right on!!

    • Robert Robertson

      This idiot professes to tell other people not to have children, that is not a good time to have children, and that is her right not to have children.
      One of these things is true. It is her right not to have children however that does not make it right for people to use abortion strictly as a form of contraception. In some ways is partially right on that is not necessarily a great time to have children things have been better but good parents raise good kids.

      In her case though I believe it is best that she does not have children in that her stupidity, lack of sensibility, overbearing attitude, and political mindset to not constitute the type of genes we need in the gene pool. She needs to do the world favor and go to the doctor and get spayed. Yes I use that word on purpose! It’s always people who don’t have children, have never raise children, and usually don’t like children who were the first to give advice on how to raise them, I mean how dumb was that.

    • Inspiri

      If you read my posts, then you can see I was accurate. Your statement proves my argument. This is exactly what Mark and the editorial board wants, make enemies with anyone who is liberal. The stupidity shown here amazes me

  • Bobseeks

    The world would be a much better place if liberals neither had children nor were alloed to teach or be around them.

    • http://www.lastresistance.com J

      Agreed!

  • rcbobj

    You know if the world felt like this dumb hypocrite, it would cease to exist. They just keep falling off the turnip truck.

  • http://www.lastresistance.com JayD

    Useless topic. No children…. No true or vested opinion Period!!

    Loser liberals!!

  • JayD

    Wow!! The level of arrogance reached by this liberal.

  • http://www.lastresistance.com Jayd

    Arrogant liberal retards.

  • Bob

    Brama,

    Well put. There are few things worse than arm chair quarterbacks who sit on the sidelines and play critic. It is always much more difficult to be in the game than outside it where you have nothing to risk. No amount of letters after your name can prepare you for anything, the only teacher is experience. It’s OK for the child-free to teach a particular skill, archery, sewing, how to paint, etc. However, morals, values, and world view belong exclusively to the parent.

    • http://[email protected] Jayd

      Agreed!!

    • http://www.paltalk.com/patrioticconservativeamericans Charles O McVey Sr. SFC E7 USA Retired, Rev D. D.

      Underwater basket weaving would be an ideal class to teach, however, in my view the “Teacher” should be prohibited from having an air tank, or snorkel.

  • Anne

    Children are about the most precious thing that can come into your life, whether you knew that ahead of time or not. Most of the people in my children’s lives, the ones they valued through high school were people who had children of their own. And the people I depended on, in my “village,” were other parents. We all helped each other. We didn’t and don’t particularly NEED childless people. Daum may re-think her position when her friends’ grandchildren are coming to the aid of their grandparents.

  • http://[email protected] Jayd

    Liberal retards strike again !!

  • dandeman

    Having children and wanting children are two different things. This lady’s argument (perhaps) has to do with having children for the eco-system of the human race. You must replenish a life form which has nothing to do with happiness and the miracles of creating a living being from the love of a man and woman “wanting” to be parents .. but for those who want children.. it is something that is much more intimate which I doubt this lady will ever understand. We should all be sad that this lady could not be thankful to her mother for not having the same opinions as her own. Thank god she does not want to reproduce and thank you lady for eliminating the possibility of future little liberals.

  • http://[email protected] My giants

    Liberal BS!!

  • James Barrs

    Let’s forget the words that Mrs Clinton made infamous. It doesn’t take a village to raise children. It takes loving parents with help, as needed, from extended family. Humans had families LONG BEFORE we had villages, governments, & other man made social networks. We have survived Ice Ages, floods, volcanos, wild creatures, & other men before we had governments. Parents then did a great job of making children safe & growing up to be good parents & productive humans themselves, WITHOUT the villages help. When governments & social workers make the rules by which we are required to raise our own children it ALWAYS ends up hurting the children & the rest of humanity. Get out of the child raising business folks, until YOU have children of your own. Our children will be grateful.

  • william spires

    That’s a very good idea for liberals to not have kids than we have less of the indoctrinated little yuppies running around. It’s also true that for anyone who doesn’t want to have kids to stay the hell out of the business of raising other peoples unless they have valid evidence that the kids are being abused !!!

  • Tony

    Melissa , double surname black American is a real leftist twit .

  • http://www.philweingart.net philwynk

    Most young people feel resolved not to repeat the mistakes of their parents. They know how severe those mistakes were because… well… youth lacks humility, and young folks know everything.

    It is the act of siring children and trying to raise them that brings most people to reality, so that by the time they’ve had a few kids and had to weather a few disasters, they know just how empty their “knowledge” was, and appreciate their parents more.

    But metro yuppies like Meghan Daum, who choose not to have children never learn those lessons. They’re still full of their adolescent certainty that they really do know better than their parents how children ought to be raised, and they’ve never faced the real tests of raising children that cure the rest of us.

    So this lady who wants to tell us how to reframe the debate is arguably the least qualified to do so… and the most insistent that she ought to be the one to do it.

    Well, there’s nothing new about this. Progressives always know better — and they’re always wrong. But they’re so certain that they claim for themselves the right to bully anybody and everybody into doing things their way.

    To hell with them, sez me. If they want a say in raising kids, they should have some and try to raise them. Then they might actually have something worthwhile to say. Maybe.

  • Mona

    Having raised two sets of kids, my own and my grandchildren. Until you have raised a child you have no busniness telling a parent how to raise theirs. They want to raise little communists not children, potential socialists and voters. All you have to do is look at Romania to see how well that worked. There are 1000s of children now living in subways and streets and orphanages rotting their brains and emotionally crippling them. They will raise a bunch of psychotic serial killers with no feelings. She should just stick to wearing tampons on her ears and stay out of our business.

  • http://www.philweingart.net philwynk

    For the record: I do not agree that it’s alright for most folks not to have children. We all have the obligation to perpetuate the race.

    I understand that there are some who cannot have children, and they have my sympathy. I understand that there are a few who are called to do things alongside which children won’t work; they have my support.

    But those situations do not describe most of these idiotic metropolitan infants in adult bodies. These Progressive infants refuse to marry and have children because they can’t commit, because they’re having too much fun, because they want an unhindered professional career — all the wrong reasons, all worthless. They get no respect from me. I don’t trust such people as far as I can throw an elephant.

    They have chosen not to participate in the ongoing human story. Then they shall not participate — in ANY way. Not if I can help it. To hell with them.

  • blackyb

    These liberal “experts” are self proclaimed to be as much. The left spends much of their time trying to impress everyone on just how much more they know than anyone else.

    I agree that if someone has no kids, they do not need to be telling everyone how to raise children. They apparently do not need to be around children if they do not want or like kids.

  • FreeDame

    No, it does not take a village to raise a child, but neither is a child raised in a vacuum with only his immediate family.

    I do not have children. That does not mean that I can’t be a great aunt, friend, mentor, teacher and/or surrogate grandmother. In my rather old-fashioned view, every parent has the ultimate responsibility for rearing their child. That does not mean that my contribution to a child’s upbringing is either meaningless or harmful. I do believe it should be up to the parent to decide if my influence on THEIR child is wanted/needed, and to terminate the association if it is not.

    Here is the main difference between Conservative and Liberal views of parents’ responsibility: A Conservative believes that the parent has both the right and the responsibility to teach and raise his child, and to keep that child from associating with people who do not share the parent’s beliefs and values. A Liberal believes that “society” should have control over ALL children, and that the parent only gets the bills.

    My only real problem with Meghan Daum’s comments is her expressed need to “reframe” the discussion of parenting. Parenting is fine framed just the way it is, and government do-gooders and others need to stay out of it.

    • libslie

      People who do not have children THINK they understand them but they really don’t. Most are less patient & have unrealistic expectations, viewing children as small adults. I have had & my kids have had teachers that were childless & I am sorry but especially for younger grades they just are not a good fit.

      As for being a good uncle, aunt, ect…, my unmarried brothers are o.k. with my kids but are clueless when they get tired & cranky & have no idea how to react. How would you know how to handle a child who is throwing a tantrum or wanting you to stop everything you are doing to accommodate them if you have never been a parent?

  • Richard

    I agree w/Daum. The more adults to spend time with my child the better.

    However I choose which adults.

  • Aryton Senna

    I’m nearly 69 and my children are 44; 42, and 36.
    I would never have had the energy to interfere in helping raise anyone else’s child.
    Get rid of these DIMLIBS and RINOS!
    ret expat MD: NBME; ABIM; ABNM; ABR w/spec comp NR and 46 years in medicine
    fme LCDR MC USNR NUKE – resigned July 1978

  • Ali

    Have you ever noticed all the cr@p parenting books that are written by non-parents? I rest my case.

  • libslie

    It is impossible to fully understand children unless you have your own. I know this because before I had kids I felt completely different towards them.

    Also it does NOT, in ANY WAY, take a “village” to raise a child. That is leftist/Communist B S! It takes TWO, MALE & FEMALE, LOVING, RESPONSIBLE PARENTS to raise a child!

  • Ed Bradford

    Corky Rowe is the only person on this thread that makes sense.

  • Don DeHoff

    Let us look at a “bigger picture”—The UN is already active in exploring “population control” and logic, reason and plain common sense dictates population control is on the horizon. There are already indications that potable water is and food distribution issues are also on their agenda. We have some time before any become critical but we need to start now to examine the issues. Population control should first be addressed as an “education” issue, with an elimination of tax advantages for having children. I believe all religions dictate “we” should go forth and populate this planet—well we have done that and it is now time to find ways to prevent over population. Education and removal of tax incentives may slow down the problem but will not solve it completely. Perhaps there are medical solutions that are less barbaric than the present abortion method. If we don’t solve the problem, nature will do it for us, in the form of disease, plagues, starvation, etc. More importantly if we don/t find a civilized way of controlling the population, the “powers that be”, will surely do it, and it will be the “poor and little people” who first get eliminated.

  • pearl

    The ideas expressed by Ms. Daum are really not even worthy of denouncing. She has NOTHING to contribute to other people’s children in the way of guidance. This article give her far more consideration and credibility than she deserves.

  • http://LastResistance Elise

    Libslie put it in a nutshell! I’m a Great Grandmother- a BA in Home Economics. 8 year career before marriage 60 years ago.

  • Paul Brown

    The black people and the Mexicans don’t have a problem with overpopulation, they believe in populating the world all over again with their own. The blacks have kids that they can’t take care of and then want everyone else to take care of them. The Mexicans have kids and then collect social security, and unemployment under another and then get a job and work under another name and get free healthcare and we pay for it. Nice way to work the system.

  • Publius

    Is it just me, or is her arse the size of rhino??
    .

  • RacerJim

    What are the odds that Meghan Daum supports abortion on demand?

  • Florida Jim

    The 60′s radicals and their offspring have failed at everything they ever tried: Viet Nam became a killing field in Cambodia while Ho chi Min laughed at Jane
    Fonda as ” a useful idiot”. Those soldiers came home to being spat upon and derided by these fools who now feign love for the military of today, which is only phony. Nothing they have done has worked: Education is fouled up, all cities and states where they rule are fouled up, all colleges are fouled up, politics is fouled up because of them, abortion as birth control design to allow their loose life=style as sluts with no consequences has resisted the murders of 55, 000,000 babies , 19,600,000 , black and they say they are not racists! Obama is result of the 60′s radicals and you can see he is everything I describe a liar and a fraud. Even the ads of Values.com and Suburu make me puke.

  • Behold

    People who don’t know Jesus are not motivated in life by all the right reasons, the results being the upside down aberrant behaviors we now see in America that is so far from the principles of Truth upon which this country was founded. We can turn America back to the correct direction. Don’t follow man….follow the Trinity.

    I urge everyone to seek the LORD while He may be found and you and your loved ones and America will be blessed. Don’t put it off! Jesus is returning SOON! Don’t doubt it. Look forward to belonging to be apart of His Supreme righteousness and justice that man alone cannot achieve. Pray without ceasing! He is our ONLY HOPE upon which we can depend! PTL for His unlimited blessings and forgiveness. Believe on the Lord Jesus Christ and thou shalt be saved. ……no greater LOVE! Reminder: Jesus was never married yet His commitment to “his beloveds” will never be topped! Follow Him and belong to His Forever Family for ALLeternity. Praise God forevermore. Do it!

    • Behold

      Check out Matthew 18 in regard to children…….”…except ye be converted, and become as little children, ye shall not enter into the kingdom of heaven….”

  • harleyrider1978

    The inconvenient truth is that the only studies of children of smokers suggest it is PROTECTIVE in contracting atopy in the first place. The New Zealand study says by a staggering factor of 82%.

    “Participants with atopic parents were also less likely to have positive SPTs between ages 13 and 32 years if they smoked themselves (OR=0.18), and this reduction in risk remained significant after adjusting for confounders.

    The authors write: “We found that children who were exposed to parental smoking and those who took up cigarette smoking themselves had a lower incidence of atopy to a range of common inhaled allergens.
    “These associations were found only in those with a parental history of asthma or hay fever.”

    They conclude: Our findings suggest that preventing allergic sensitization is not one of them.”
    The Journal of Allergy and Clinical Immunology
    Volume 121, Issue 1 , Pages 38-42.e3, January 2008
    http://www.jacionline.org/article/S00…(07)01954-9/abstract

    .
    This is a Swedish study.

    “Children of mothers who smoked at least 15 cigarettes a day tended to have lower odds for suffering from allergic rhino-conjunctivitis, allergic asthma, atopic eczema and food allergy, compared to children of mothers who had never smoked (ORs 0.6-0.7)

    CONCLUSIONS: This study demonstrates an association between current exposure to tobacco smoke and a low risk for atopic disorders in smokers themselves and a similar tendency in their children.”
    Clin Exp Allergy 2001 Jun;31(6):908-14
    http://www.data-yard.net/30/asthma.htm

  • Laura

    What about all of us who were once children? Can’t we understand them because we were them? It is just as silly to proclaim parents as the all wise saints with vast unshakable knowledge as it is to proclaim the childless know nothing about children. This is all a tempest in a teapot.

    • Pappadave

      It’s really simple. No one “knows” more about raising kids than those who never raised any.

  • DMJ

    The people who are the surest and most opinionated about how children should be raised are almost always the ones who don’t have any children (or whose children are badly behaved). Their assertions are also almost always wrong. I can’t even begin to tell you how many books on parenting, written by experts, were completely off the mark.
    The only people who know their children and how they should be raised are their parents. No one else is closer to the children’s personality, situation and particular idiosyncrasies than the parents. If they want assistance and advice from others, then the ones to go to are not the childless people but the experienced parents in their lives, like the grandparents or older siblings with grown children.
    This woman is trying to make herself important by claiming that we need her. No, we don’t.

    My husband and I did not need help raising our kids and they all turned out well.

  • RobertG

    Lenin, Stalin, Mao, Castro and numerous Beloved & Dear Leaders in North Korea and other such Workers’ Paradises all had their village raised goons. When this Mellisa Harris-Perry-Rachel Maddow’s ‘Special Friend’- calls for community control of children she is part of a long line of really nasty persons. When we hear of An African Proverb please note none of these persons manage you mention which tribe or nation that might be from. Could they be lying?

  • Teaxselect

    I have raised five children. Now they are Five well adjusted competent, intelligent adults. No one did that for my wife and I, we took no “guidance or direction” from other people. None use drugs, none have ever been in trouble with the law and all five are respectful, honest young professional adults. All graduated with a 4.0 or better and all know God.
    Children learn what they live. I find that children of liberal minded people are self-centered and lacking in a moral compass. They are the “entitled or gimmie generation”. At least our kids learned the value of hard work and the rewards that accompany that satisfaction.

    God Bless To All

  • Sue

    It does not take a village to raise a child. It takes a loving, caring family with 2 dedicated parents.

  • Searcher98

    I am so sick and tired of the phrase “… It’s for the children.” that nothing will turn me against that “cause” faster.